Smash Skits
by TRUE Unknown
Summary: This will be a fan-powered series! If you like it, review it and include a suggestion as well for a chapter too! It'll be fun! CH. 21: Let's rewind a little, look back a Melee moment, and reflect... reflect on why people don't set handicaps...
1. Reminder

Smash Skits 

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

--

(**Chapter 1: Reminder**)

"Hey, Lucas!" The PSI veteran, Ness, called out to his friend.

"What's up?" The boy walked to him.

"Check out these stickers I found while I fought against Nana, Popo, DK, and Ike!" He showed him the two stickers he had found. "It's weird! One of them looks like a 16-bit version of you."

"So it does! That's so creepy..."

"And who's this one supposed to be?" He had shown the Nowhere Islands denizen the other sticker, of a female 16-bit girl with red hair, a long blue dress, and boots. "I've never seen this one."

Lucas suddenly felt shocked, then hot on the face, then lowered his head. "C-can I have those stickers?"

"What?"

"Could I have those stickers, Ness?" He asked again, his voice oddly trembling. "I'll do whatever you want, just let me have them, please!"

"Okay, Lucas, calm down. You can have the stickers." Ness kindly handed the pair of stickers to the blond PSI user, who had properly thanked him before scampering off in delight.

"What was THAT all about?" Came the near-Foghorn Leghorn-ish voice of King Dedede, positioning himself beside Ness. "What was that there yellow-headed kid person going on about?"

"Something about wanting two stickers I found." Ness nodded. "I wonder..." He soon decided to head to the dorms, with a curious Dedede following behind him (well, as much as his portliness could allow him to follow behind the Eagleland kid).

--

"Why are we outside Lucas's room?" Dedede looked all confused, unsure of Ness's intentions. "Somethin' prank-like, no doubt? Cause I got a couple of ideas--"

_'Quiet!' _Ness had countered sharply... with his mind.

The Dream Land 'King' could only be astonished with wide-eyed surprise. _'What the?! What are you doin'? Get out of my head! You're freaking me out!'_

_'Odd... You can communicate with melike this...'_ Ness ignored this new detail, and told Dedede of what he was seeing. _'Let's just focus on Lucas for a second. And try not to make a thought.'_

_'Does that mean I have that there psycho powers too--'_ His face twisted in pain for a minute. _'OOoohhh, I'm gonna knock your head open with my hammer, boy--'_

_'BE QUIET!'_ Ness snapped. _'He's establishing a mind-link with someone.'_

Dedede, still being curious like a primate from a storybook, peered Lucas's door slightly ajar, seeing his backside.

_'Hey.'_ They both 'heard' Lucas's voice. _'How are you? ... That's very good to hear. I'm glad everyone's getting along out there. How's my dad, and Duster, and Boney?'_

_'How come I can't hear the person blondie's talkin' to?'_ Dedede laid on the floor, disinterested.

_'It'd take too much mental focus to pick up on who he's conversing with. And even then, if I did that, he'd notice.'_

Lucas sat himself closer to his window, looking out to the spacious Multi-Man Brawl simulator. _'I'm sorry you couldn't come out here too... ...I know, it's a bit ridiculous...'_ A bit of time passed, as Lucas turned to a piece of stationery. _'I miss you too. Hey, this should be cool: my friend Ness, he's a PSI user like you and me, he gave me these weird stickers that look like us.'_ Lucas pulled out a pencil and started writing. _'Yeah, these stickers look like if we were sprites in a game... yeah, one of me, and one of you... The hair on your's isWAY off.'_

Dedede just scrunched his face in disgust when he heard Lucas giggle to a voiceless response. His eyes then noted Ness's hand clamping on the penguin's foot. _'Why you feelin' my foot?'_

_'I gotta. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been able to hear my thoughts and the thoughts of Lucas too.'_

He was silent._ 'How long were you gonna make me believe I had them mental powers too? I could've rubbed that in Kirby's face, darn it!'_

_'Don't worry,'_ Lucas calmed whatever was getting riled up. _'I promise that when this current tournament is done, I'll come back and spend a few months back at home, with dad, Boney, Duster, and you of course...'_ His physical features took a slight pink, as he slid the stationery into an envelope, along with some wrapped pieces of candy, and the two stickers. He smiled wide. _'...I love you too, Kumatora. I'll be home soon.'_

"Lucas is in looooove!" Dedede taunted out loud.

"DEDEDE!!" Ness roared, chasing the fat 'king' around the dorms.

_'Listen, I gotta get going and send this letter to you.'_ Lucas added.

_'Did that PSI friend of yours peer in?'_ The voice of the older girl, Kumatora, rang clear in his mind.

_'Yep. And I'll take your advice, Kumatora:'_ Lucas got out his favorite stick, and felt his fingers glow, smiling quite sadistically. _'I'm gonna whoop their butts good!'_

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!

This is a skit series I hopewill get a lot of reader interaction. It'll be of every genre I can think of, and if you've got a good idea for a skit, give a quick description of it in your review (if you choose to read and review this humble work). It'll keep me typing, and I'll bring your ideas to life, amidst my own stewings. So review and give me your thoughts! And make this LIVE!! Thank you in advance.


	2. Opinionated

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

With thanks from An Ordinary Fan and P.T. Piranha for some wonderful ideas, this next chapter is for you!

--

(**Chapter 2: Opinionated**)

[Roy

"How I felt when I found out I wasn't gonna be in Brawl?" Roy basically repeated the question asked to him, as the camera is being handled by the usual Lakitu. "Well, I thought I was cut because no one really liked the Fire Emblem characters, since we were from mostly Japan-only games. If I knew this would happen, I'd probably try to warn Marth of this fate at the same time.

"Unfortunately, to my dismay, it not only turns out that Marth was staying, and they got some mercenary named Ike as well, **I** was the only one they were getting rid of. Ain't that some BLEEP." Roy had started getting angrier as well. "And what's worse, some sources actually discovered that MY character is actually IN the game! And nothing was done! And the worse yet, the only thing they have that's even close to acknowledging my appearance is a Goddamn sticker."

Roy stood up, knocking the chair behind him down to the floor. "So you know what? I'm through with Smash! Fanfic-wise, go find another boy-toy to ship with Marth or Link, dammit! Damn Marth/Roy yaoi fanshippers are really starting to piss me off. I'm heading back to I'd rather be pals with Capcom characters in a mainstream Sonic fanfic than 'swap boy spit' with pretty boy Marth!"

"Anything you'd like to say to the Smashers who ARE in Brawl?" The Lakitu cameraman asked.

"Yeah." He turned to the camera. "Bowser, Donkey Kong, Zelda, Mr. Game and Watch, it was a great honor to fight with you and alongside you, and I hope we'll get stinko at the bar soon enough!" He went upclose to the camera now. "Marth... I hope Ike makes you his uke, you princely piece. And Wolf, get your Gauron-sounding self off with a rusty spike!"

--

[Mewtwo

"_How I felt?_" Mewtwo 'spat' telepathically. "_Of course I'm pissed! I mean, looking back at the game, even I found myself to be a tricky person to control._" He smirked. "_And no, it's not paradoxical for me to be playing Melee, humanbags._" He sighed angrily, ripping off a small segment of the drywall. "_But could they have improved the way I played? My opinion: they could've. Their opinion: BLEEP Mewtwo, let's get another Pokemon to replace him._" His eyes glowed yellow. "_Who DID they replace me with, by the way?_"

"I believe it was Lucario, Mr. Mewtwo." The Lakitu cameraman said.

"_Lucario? That dog-looking piece? So what if he's popular with children in Japan, that's no reason alone to replace me!_" Mewtwo mentally picked up some thoughts the cameraman was thinking. "_So what if he can melee fight more effectively than me? ... So what if he can wall jump?_"

"It is befitting a fighting type."

"_Whoa whoa whoa..._" Mewtwo sounded annoyed. "_I've been replaced by a fighting-type? I will RIP HIM APART WITH--_"

"He's fighting/steel, Mr. Mewtwo."

"_Whoop-de-__**damn**__-doo._" Mewtwo swirled his finger around in the air. "_And that Aura Sphere Lucario has? That's just an updated version of my Shadow Ball. And he thinks he's the only one who can learn Aura Sphere?_" Mewtwo's hand was a-brim with an orb of power, his own Aura Sphere glowing faintly. "_If he gets his hands on this, tell him that if I EVER see him on the same place I'm at, he'll get one of THESE with his name on it!_"

"O-O-O-okay Mr. Mewtwo please don't destroy the building--"

STATIC

--

[Dr. Mario

"I'm-a actually not that disappointed to be cut." Dr. Mario said. "This isn't-a some kind of paradoxical BLEEP, where-a the doctor me and the plumber-a me are two separate entities! It's-a all ME, Mario!"

"How can you defend that fact, when some old Melee footage showed 'Plumber Mario' facing 'Dr. Mario' in fights?" The Lakitu cameraman pondered.

"Clones." The Italian said. "I had-a the talk with-a Master Hand and-a Sakurai-sama. The doctor will still have-a the place here, but only on-a the sidelines, healing the wounds."

"Won't it be awkward that you'll be treating people you just beat up half the time?"

"Not-a important!" Dr. Mario threw off his medical garbs, revealing his tried-and-true plumber overalls. "And now, if-a you don't mind, Zelda's-a butt has-a my name on it!" Mario ran out of the room.

Peach, all dressed in her white dress, picked up his doctor clothes. She didn't notice that the Lakitu had put a fan conveniently under her dress, and with the press of a button on his cloud, Peach's dress flew up, showing off Peach's smooth, bare legs and white panties.

"Yeah, Master Hand made me get rid of my white stockings for my white outfit for some stupid reason." Peach sighed.

"No more thoughts of perversion..." Sighed the Lakitu cameraman and, let's face it, half the internet.

--

[Pichu

Before the very first Brawl trailer started, Melee's Pikachu had disappeared, leaving the others, as well as Pichu, confused and scared. It was then discovered that Pikachu had found a Thunderstone, touched it by accident, and evolved into a Raichu. Since he knew Master Hand would slap him senseless before firing him for some awkward reason, he took all of his belongings he didn't like (those being his red cap, blue party hat, and green cowboy hat), left it at the Mansion, and went off to explore the wide world of the Pokemans.

Pichu knew that trouble would hit the fan very soon if a Pikachu couldn't be present for the very first trailer of Brawl, so he did the unthinkable: he trained. He trained night and day, eating vigorously, and improving his speed game with Captain Falcon as his sensei. The next morning, the little Pichu had woken up, to find out he had evolved overnight, content with being the next successor, into the Pikachu we see in Brawl.

Sure, he's got the same red hat and a new Emerald-inspired green bandana, but since when did Melee Pikachu have the "Adventurer Goggles" and the new wall-jumping prowess, along with being almost as fast as Fox and Captain Falcon?

I thought so.

--

[Young Link

"I'm not cut?" The smaller Hylian asked. "SWEET!" The Lakitu cameraman, under careful instructions from Master Hand, Sakurai, and Miyamoto, handed Young Link a bottle of glowing liquid. "SWEET! What is it?"

"Uh... um... Super Lon Lon Milk?" The Lakitu cameraman lied.

"AWESOME!" He popped the top open, and guzzled it all down. He wiped his mouth with a gasp. "That tasted yummy! What made it glow?"

"Uh, the determination to keep you in Brawl?"

"Hey, I can work with--" Suddenly, Young Link gagged, dropping his bottle to the floor with a shatter. He clenched his chest, made some weird sounds, some funky doo-diddlies, and made a loud cry, before collapsing on the ground.

"Uh-oh... I think we killed--" The Lakitu cameraman was suddenly caught in a bright, cartoony explosion, covering him with mild soot.

What stood before him now was Young Link... I mean... **TOON LINK**! "**Reincarnation**..." Toon Link had said sleepily. Then he realized he was Toon Link. "WAAH! My eyes are so large!"

"I hope it's not the only thing that's large!"

The Link's eyes soon wandered to the Zelda counterpart of his dreams, looking so cute in her Zelda regalia, but maintaining her cocky countenance and tanned color of the pirate leader Tetra. Her finger beckoned him closer.

"WIND WAKER ZELDA!" Toon Link was giddy and luststruck. "YOWZA!" With that, he rushed to her side, and closed the door behind him.

"Okay, we're done here." The Lakitu cameraman said, "now where's my $50? You know you owe me!"

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!

Don't be afraid to let me know of some good ideas!


	3. Relief & PRS

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

bladzer, this next one goes out to you, my good chum!

--

(**Chapter 3.1: Relief**)

"Who sounds ecstatic?" Link wondered, as his conversation with Zelda was cut short by a cry of excited relief.

From a bright flash of light and a raw burst of psychokinetic energy, the red-capped kid from Onett completed his PSI Teleport, skidding to a delicious halt in the middle of the hall.

"Ness! What the _hell's _your problem?!" Link called out, looked down to see Zelda, on her back, unconscious, and with the front of her dress lifted up from the skidding, showing off her boots and white tights. "Mmmm..." He shook his head and ran over to Ness. "NESS! What's up with you?"

"I... AM... IN!!!" Ness cried out loud in joy, jigging intentionally.

"You made it in to Brawl? Congrats, Ness!" The Hylian patted the boy on his back. "Though I'm surprised you were worrying about it."

"Well when they announced Lucas over me, it'd make sense that I'd have doubts!"

"Still, I always figured you'd return!" Link chuckled to himself. "Oh, one more thing I have to tell you."

"What's that?" Ness inquired.

"Bowser sorta took your old dorm room, because I said you wouldn't have a chance in hell to come back... heheheh..." The Hylian sheepishly added, regretting his previous action.

Ness's face just took a sudden turn to the angered, and he felt his eyes glowed. "I know I'm not going to use this move for my Final Smash... so remember this well."

"Uh-oh..."

"_**PSI ROCKIN'!!!**_"

Laser lightshows could not compare to the brilliance that Link was getting owned by. Luigi walked right by, stopping to look up Zelda's dress, nods in delight, and then turns his attention to the green-clad elf-guy's demise.

--

Now for a double-header, sprouted from my head!

--

(**Chapter 3.2: Paper, Rock, Scissors**)

"PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS!"

"AGAIN!"

"PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS!"

"AGAIN!"

"PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS!"

"AGAIN!"

"PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS!"

"AGAIN!"

Popo and Nana, the Ice Climbers, looked on at Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Solid Snake, continuously playing Paper, Rock, Scissors. Thirty rounds they played so far, and thirty rounds all came up a tie so far. Out of some strange, sheer coincidence, they either a) came up with three of the same hand motion, or b) came up with EXACTLY a paper, rock, and scissors; either or, they always came up with a three-way tie.

And either or, none of them were going to back out of this contest of contrition.

"What's going on?" The Pokemon Trainer asked.

"We're waiting to see who'll win. They've been tieing for ten minutes now." Nana complained.

"And they're blocking the only way out!" Popo added.

The trainer could only think of one thing to do. He pulled out a Pokeball, not one from his belt, and out summoned...

Groudon. The angry Continent Pokemon made a new sky opening of the room, burning and maiming Mario, Sonic, and Snake.

"UWAAAAAAAAHH!!"

"AAAUUUGH!!!"

"OOOOUUUGH!!"

"SNAAAAAAKE!!!" Otacon cried out from the Codec on the agent's belt.

With faces of astounded terror, the Ice Climbers and the Trainer had to make a mad dash past the angry iconic Pokemon of Ruby. And when the Pokemon finally disappeared, the smoldering bodies of the plumber, hedgehog, and agent plummeted back down to the ground.

And, wouldn't you know it, their hands were: Mario, with his hand open; Sonic, his hand balled in a fist; Snake, his hand in the V sign.

"ANOTHER TIE?!" The Ice Climbers reacted, and started to cry.

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!

Don't be afraid to let me know of some good ideas!


	4. Staring

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

This next hit goes out to, and courtesy of, Fire Emblem Mewmew.

--

(**Chapter 4: Staring**)

Languid...

Dry...

Crusty...

Scaly...

Oddly enough, this doesn't even come _close _to describing what it was Link and Toon Link were doing. They were having a staring contest; a match of ocular omnipotence. Master Hand already complained once before about how childish games could lead to horrible consequences (as Mario, Sonic, and Snake found out after the 'fiasco' from last chapter. The Groudon was not held responsible. It was given a sweet Poffin. It was glad to get it.)

This time, another stalemate would arise. Of course, it won't be out of retarded coincidences. This was also no gentleman-ly staring contest.

After the initial couple of minutes, both generational heroes decided to go all hardcore!

They tried blinding each other with their shields, with assistance from the flourescent lighting above. Although they both got a nice dosage of artificial Vitamin D, and bright spots in their vision, neither blinked, and neither gave in.

They tried poising their arrows, in a ready stance, to the other's eyes. They both eventually tossed their arrows into the other's eyes, hoping to gouge themselves a certain winner. Oddly enough, their arrows bounced right off like rubber to a couple things that were like glue; those things being through one of a certain blue hedgehog's quills (Sonic: Ow!) and through a shell spike on a certain turtle/dragon/kappa king. (Bowser: What'd I DO?!)

With their boomerangs, they intended to ruin the other's fun and games by taking out their eyes. But like a dull projectile hitting a Wind Waker Armored Gorias, the boomerangs bounced off each other's eyes, ending up digging themselves into the corners of the room.

With both of their Master Swords in hand now, it was decided to be a straight-out forward stab into some eye-sockets! And... okay, here's where things get _admittedly_ retarded: they forward-stabbed each other's eyeballs, none blinking done, and both their swords flew RIGHT out of their hands, bounced around the room, and both stabbed through the wall that was Captain Falcon's room.

"WHOA!" Captain Falcon yelped, seeing as how the swords stabbed RIGHT THROUGH his chair and wall. "It's a good thing I didn't SIT DOWN! I would've been a Swiss Falcon!" He laughed nervously, then fumed. "ASSHOLES..."

Hookshot and Clawshot didn't work so well either, as eyes equals deflectors, and the shots went into the ceiling of Wario's room, nearly impaling the fat man's feet.

And so, the final stand-off brought out the big bombs. Literally, they were inexplicably stacking each other with their bombs, all lit and ready to nuke a small neighborhood.

"HEY! I WANT A WORD WITH--"

Before Captain Douglas Jay Falcon got another word out, the massive explosion sent him flying through his room window, and falling back first into Peach's flower garden. The Princess wasn't that thrilled, and she proceeded to heel-tap Falcon in the groinal region repeatedly.

But still, with eyes demanding the sweet taste of re-flooded eye juice, were Link and Toon Link, almost gnashing their teeth at each other in annoyance. Someone was gonna go DOWN in this--

"Hey boys!"

The two Hylians turned to see the always elegant Zelda call them. "Oh Hey Zelda--" They both said back, but had stopped dead in their tracks when they found out their critical error: both of them had blinked. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" They both cluttered Zelda upclose. "YOU WERE THERE! WHO BLINKED FIRST? **_WHO BLINKED FIIIIIIIRST_**?!"

Unable to answer their question, she did the only elegant thing to do: use her down Smash to hit Link in the cack and Toon Link in the face, before running away in terror.

"Heh..." Toon Link tried to keep his head-battered eyes from spinning. "I got to see up her dress..."

"Good for you, man..."

And with that, both collapsed.

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!


	5. Contrast & Women

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Midnight Crystal Sage, you're up to bat! And another hit from bladzer's coming down the plate! A 2-for-1!

--

(**Chapter 5.1: Contrast**)

"**I'M **BETTER!"

Diddy Kong walked by, his train of thought of sharing a banana with Dixie interrupted when he heard the sounds of arguing coming from the cafeteria. If anything happens too frequently here at the Smash Mansion, it's always an argument, and 50 percent of the time, involving Link as either the argument subject, or as an arguer. Sure enough, Diddy saw that it **was** Link, arguing with Pit about something.

"What makes you think you're better than me, angel boy?" The Hylian shouted.

"Oh, a lot of things!"

"Explain!"

"Alright, I will!" He brought out his Palutena's Bow, his wrist magically a-glow with two golden loops. "I'm way better than you at the swords than you are! Check _this_ out!" He detached his bow into twin swords. "With both of these swords, I can attack how-many ways I want! All around me, rapid in front of me, and the list goes on!"

"Not good enough!" Link countered. "You may have more swords than me, but all of the Links who came before me, including myself, have gotten off just fine with one sword. It's not how many swords you got, my winged chum, it's all about HOW you use it! And my charged spinning attack that I can walk around with is just fine with me! And besides, you only just RECENTLY got that bow of yours, so you're not that adept on using 'em!"

"Point taken!" Pit admitted. "But can you claim that you're better than me at the bow?" Pit stood up, retached his bow together, and fired his arrows in guided paths all around, playfully avoiding other people who were eating there. "Can you flaunt THAT?"

"Fine, I'm not asgood amarksmanas you." Link nodded. "But what I lack with bowman skills, I do also make up with in utility; bows, bombs, boomerangs, Clawshot, sheld, I can use all of those to meet my ends! All you got is that reflector mirror."

"I still got one ace up my sleeve!" Pit boasted. "I'm hotter than you!"

"Yeah, you looked like a piece of crap before... you look like you got the Kingdom Hearts treatment!"

"Can you claim you can get the ladies with YOUR looks?" Pit boasted.

"Looks are only a factor for me! Being a heroic kind of character helps!" Link smugly stated. "I mean, I not only get Zelda, but I end up getting so many other girls along the way that trying to describe them all now would be a waste of time!" He stared at the angel. "I bet with your looks, the only girl who gets to _hit_ you is your almighty Goddess Palutena!"

Pit looked down, his face a bright pink. "Sh-she does..."

Link looked wide-eyed, getting up and sitting beside the angel. He said quietly, "Did she touch you inappropriately?"

"Y-yes..." He started shuddering uncontrollably. "I mean, I don't _not_ like what she does..."

"Well, serves you right for serving a Goddess who only wears a white stocking. Either wear two or wear none at all, ya crazy skank!"

Pit got up, and bashed Link upside the head with his bow. He finished eating and he left.

Diddy shook his head, and made a whip noise before going back to his own thing.

--

(**Chapter 5.2: First you get the Sugar, then you get the power, then you get the...**)

"Damn it..." Fox muttered, "Nothing but the same tail to look at over and over..."

"You're a fox. Get used to it." Luigi added sarcastically.

Wiggling on instinct, the anthro's tail spun once before facing the skinny Italian. "That's not what I meant, scaredy. Come, chat with me, look with me."

Taking the insult in stride, Luigi slid to Fox. The both of them were standing at a high tower alcove, looking down at the courtyard of the Mansion, observing the women of Smash doing their own thing(s). Peach was watering her plants, nimbly and routinely dodging her tiny Piranha Plant, snapping at her with pointed teethies (as Peach called it.) Zelda killed some time by swaying a small quartet of wisps in her hands, nearly bringing it to 'comical juggling level'. Samus, outside of her armor, was just laying back and enjoying the scenery... while uncharacteristically losing focus at her Elite Beat Agents game, cursing the **"Jumping Jack Flash"** stage. Nana was stuck alongside Popo, deciding to climb up on some of the columns adorning the outer borders of the courtyard. And Jigglypuff... wait, is this Jigglypuff a boy or a girl? Even with the sunhat and the GBA Fire Red/Leaf Green female trainer hat, it'd be VERY hard to physically distinguish it. Whatever.

"This bothers me." Fox barked.

"How so?" Luigi asked.

"Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, Samus Aran, Nana, and, why not, even Jigglypuff." Fox listed. "If it weren't for those five, we'd be nothing but a sausage party, with yaoi and slash trimmings up the front of this here turkey!"

"I agree. Why couldn't we get-a more women to join our group?"

"Are you kidding? Master Hand and even Sakurai-sama all probably have a strict list of requirements for women to be in Brawl."

"Yeah, all blond and-a princesses." Luigi joked. "With the exception of Samus... and-a Nana... and Jigglypuff."

"I think ours is a girl. Not too sure." Fox was unaware of Luigi's 'W-aTF there are boy Jigglypuffs?' expression. "If I were there, I would've put my on-again off-again girlfriend Krystal in here!"

"Oooh, drama with-a the furries!" Luigi added with sarcasm, this time his turn to ignore Fox's 'FURRIES?' surprise. "Lucas was-a pretty bummed that his girl Kumatora couldn't-a get in."

"Yeah, but if she were in, she'd practically replace him. And besides, neither are that distraught. Doesn't he mind-chat with her every night or something?"

Luigi smiled. "It beats having cellphones, and saves you the troubles of-a the phone bill. Just don't-a snoop in on him, or else he-a kills you, like he almost did-a to Dedede and-a the Ness."

"And we'd scratch off _your_ girl, Luigi." Fox noted on his finger. "Daisy would just end up being a clone of Peach."

"Yes..." the green one sighed. "Paula would-a be another bad choice. Blond, blue eyed, and-a taught Ness all of-a her moves; she'd pretty much be a female-a Ness whose dress you could look up in-a the screenshots."

Fox's eyes widened. "Okay..."

"And I'm-a surprised that-a Mona isn't in, either!" Luigi sulked. "She may-a be attached to-a Wario, and delivers a good pizza, and looks-a attractive in sexy uniforms, but what can-a she do?"

"Dunno..." Fox sighed, bored suddenly with this train of thought. "Hey, let's drop a water bomb on the gals!"

"Goodie!"

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!


	6. Racing

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Now, let a personal one flow forth from my own brains! My delicious brains...

--

(**Chapter 6: Racing**)

"Okay, set it-a to a bunny-hood Brawl."

"Done."

"Now, it's just-a me, Sonic, and-a Captain Falcon."

"That's right!"

"And where did you want to go?"

"BIG BLUE!"

"Oh, Mamma mia..."

At the start of the match, landing right on top of the Falcon Flyer on Big Blue, Mario, Sonic, and Captain Falcon arrived. All with Bunny Hoods on their heads, the crazy race of all time was about to begin!

"Okay," Mario announced. "This is going-a to be a race between-a Sonic, Captain Falcon, and-a ALL the F-Zero racers!"

"No problem!" Sonic quipped.

"I can handle it!" Falcon nodded, but then saw his Blue Falcon driving past them. "HEY! WHO'S IN MY CAR!"

"Are-a you ready? Get set... and-a GO!"

The hedgehog and the F-Zero racer lept off the Falcon Flyer, and started motoring their legs on the ground. They nimbly dodged car after car, the super-powers of the Bunny Hood flowing through them, heightening their already-impressive natural speed. Falcon was tempted to fire off a Falcon Punch at car #30, the Black Bull, but that would be pointless, as it would cost him precious time.

"C'mon, step it up, Falcon!" Sonic taunted.

"Oh, don't think I'm done yet, fuzzball!" Falcon countered.

"GAP!" Mario pointed out.

This was easily remedied by Falcon's mighty jump, as well as a nicely timed Spin Dash from Sonic. Now they were hopping from racer to racer, until they were literally now ahead of the pack.

"Ooh, this is-a gonna be-a very close!" Mario felt some kind of excitement course through him, having jumped from the Falcon Flyer, and jumping from racer to platform to floating camera to continually catch the action. "But even with-a the Bunny Hood, Falcon can't-a seem to catch up with-a Sonic!"

"UNTIL WARIO-MAN ARRIVES!"

Coming in FAST on his motorcycle, was the far-epic Wario-Man in bunny ears! He somehow snuck into the match, grabbed a piece of super garlic, became the 'hero', and revved up his bike to near awesome speeds! He was plowing through racers, thankfully sending the Black Bull off the track and into the oceanic abyss below the racetrack. In a short span of time, Wario caught up with Sonic and Falcon.

"MWAHAHAHA! I'M faster than ALL OF YOU--"

"LARGE GAP!"

Sonic and Falcon lept onto a nearby platform, leaving Wario confused, and especially irritable with he dove straight off the end of the track. He only screamed into the abyss, diving at an alarming rate.

"The sad thing," Falcon shook his head, with Sonic having his hands behind his head, both with sweatdrops going down their heads. "was that he eventually caught up with us..."

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!


	7. Baseball

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

This next one goes out to Bigfoot12310! A home run!

--

(**Chapter 7: Take me out to the...**)

R.O.B. was bored...

R.O.B. was listless...

R.O.B. was letting loose its irritance by repeatedly seeking out Ganondorf, and clamping him VERY HARD.

Even after it was punched away by the Lord of Evil, the ancient Nintendo peripheral kept at it. Simply, because it was bored. They stopped making games for the Robotic Operating Buddy for a LONG time, and when it can't play or do anything, it gets upset. And when it gets upset, people get HASSLED.

And only one person could help it. At least, he hoped he _could_.

"Wolf," Ness asked the anthromorphic mercenary. "Have you seen R.O.B. around here?"

He pointed at the end of the hall. "Over there, hassling Ganondorf like a pervert."

"Thanks!"

Ness ran and made it to the robot, who was repeatedly clamping the Gerudo Lord of Evil, hard and painfully.

"OW! OW! OW! OOOOOOHH I'M _SORRY_!" Ganondorf cried out loud, literally tears running down his carbon-colored face, as unbearable pressure, even for the Lord of all Evil, the ever-transcending king of terror, was crushing him hard in the groin. His voice was approaching a decibel that could make a castrati blush with embarrassment. Hey! Word of the day!

"Hey, R.O.B.!" Ness called out, getting the attention of the machine, and the much desired release of freedom for poor Ganondorf. Not often you'll get THAT in a sentence. "You got a minute?" The robot scooted over to the boy from Onett, its head nodding mechanically.

"OOOOOWWwwww... my baby reserves..." Ganondorf practically squeaked, weakly crawling to the office of Dr. Mario. "You'll pay for this, you assholic automaton!"

"You look like you need something to do, right R.O.B.?" The robot nodded again, waving its arms in circles. "A surefire way to cure your boredom is to get you interested in something. A hobby or a sport..." The eyes of the robot focused on Ness's bat, hung right on his back. It was gesturing an arm to it. "Oh, my bat? You want to hold it?" It nodded happily, well, as a Robotic Operating Buddy could. Ness handed him his trusty bat, and the robot immediately gripped it in its hands, spinning its arm body around, as if trying to get in tune with the bat. Its eyes smiled as if content. "See? You like the bat, huh--hey _where_ are you going?" Ness saw that the robot had taken his bat, motored over to the still crawling Ganondorf, and proceeded to bat his 'softballs' repeatedly.

"OWWWW! WHYYYYYYYY?" Ganondorf wailed.

"NO! BAD R.O.B.!"

--

"Okay, so you like the bat, huh R.O.B.?" Ness asked. The robot nodded. "Okay, why don't we toss a few baseballs around?"

"BZZZZT?" R.O.B. was confused.

"I'm going to toss a baseball towards you, and you gotta hit it with the bat. Wanna give it a try?" The robot nodded again. "Okay, here it comes!" Ness tossed the baseball... and hit R.O.B. in the head, making him fall down. "No, no... R.O.B., you were supposed to hit it with the bat!" The robot made a whirring noise as it got itself back up on its base. "Now, let's try this again."

R.O.B. nodded, gripped its clamp hands on the bat, and when Ness tossed the next ball, it swung with such force, that its arms segment spun wildly, careening the ball high into the air, Meteor Smashing a poor blue jay into the hard surface of the ground.

Ness could not believe his eyes. "Wow... if that bird wasn't in the way, that would've been a home run!"

"What the hell was THAT?" Bowser walked over to the boy and robot. "Did you guys just murder a small animal, WITHOUT MY _PARTICIPATING _IN IT?"

"BZZZT!" R.O.B. raised his arm in the air.

"That was YOU?" The Koopa King was stunned, but then thought for a minute. He stomped over to where Ness was, grabbed three baseballs in his hands, and was winding up. "THINK FAST, BOLT BUCKET!"

And think fast, it did, for Bowser fired a three way spread of baseballs towards R.O.B., and the clever robot that it suddenly was, spun its arms all around again, sending all three flying in three different directions: one flat-out ruining Peach's flower garden, resulting in a crying princess; one lodging itself firmly into a large tree, providing some nighttime warmth for a free-loading squirrel; and one downright flew ALL THE WAY to Square-Enix, properly bashing the head of _overrated_ Mario RPG character Geno in.

"BZZZT! BZZ CLCKZZT BZZ WHHHRR!" R.O.B. was celebrating, gyrating its arms up and down.

Bowser and Ness could only stare in confusion. "What'd it say?" Bowser asked.

"Dunno. I can't read its mind." Ness answered.

"Bah! Useless!" He stomped away from Ness and walked over to R.O.B. "Bolt Bucket, you got a nice swinging arm on ya! How'd ya like to join the Brawl Softball Team?"

With pure satisfaction in its eyes, the Robotic Operating Buddy nodded and clapped its hands in delight. "BZZZTT!"

"Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!" Bowser was determined now, walking with his claw behind R.O.B.'s back. "Now, here's how it's gonna work..."

Ness was purely devastated. _He _was the one who had saved Ganondorf from any further lower bodily harm, _he _was the one who got R.O.B. interested in the sport in the first place, _he _never got offered a chance on the Softball Team that was recently started up a couple of weeks ago by Mario and friends, and now _he _just lost his favorite bat! All of this happening so fast and in such a short span of time, Ness couldn't grasp how all of this fit in the grand scheme of things. Except for Ganondorf's everlasting pain; I think that's due to karmic retribution to him being a dick. Finally, it dawned on him.

"...Wait, I don't even _like_ baseball that much." Ness realized. "I only use bats because they're a very handy piece of self-defence. And I already HAVE twenty other bats in my closet."

With a shrug, he walked back to the Mansion, wondering if Ganondorf will be doing any high-voiced musical soloes anytime soon.

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!


	8. Running & Olympiad

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Time for a tale of two: one from my own delicious brain, and one from Zindakku Hirokai, comin' at ya!

--

(**Chapter 8.1: Running**)

No one knew why he did it...

Why the alarm would blare at 5:50 in the morning, waking up the entire west wing of the Mansion.

Attire,really unbefitting of a man of his power, stature, and reputation.

But here he was, outside in a jogging suit, looking upon the bright, dawning skies. The air cool and brisk against his hardened face. He breathed in deeply, and with a very rarely seen smile on his face...

Ganondorf began his morning jog.

Huffing and puffing at a quiet, and brisk pace, the great Lord of all Evil was going for a plentiful morning commute. His jogging route took him away from the Mansion, heading down a wooded trail befitting for him (by befitting, I mean with jagged rocks, shallow rivers with stepping stones on 'em, and park rangers he would destroy for being told not to hassle the local wildlife for his training), and eventually heading into an unseen town, where there were commuters such as he, briskly going through the beginning of their rigorous days.

"Morning, Mr. Ganondorf!" Said one person.

"Hey." Ganondorf replied with a quick breath and a gesture, never breaking his jogging pace.

"Beautiful day, Ganondorf." Said another person.

"Beautiful day, Mr. Johnson." He replied again.

"Hey Ganon!" Pit called out from behind him, in his usual attire, his walking as fast as Ganondorf's run.

"Huh... you're never usually up this early, cloud-puffer." Ganondorf commented, feeling his angelic companion walking alongside him at a fast pace. "Your Higher Being keeping you up all night?"

"Oh ha ha, very funny. Ha ha, how droll." Pit sarcastically countered. "Everyone usually makes fun of your slow run... we didn't think you actually ran like that because of exercise."

"On foot, I'm not as fast, nor will I ever be as fast, as the others. For My sake, I can only outrun Jigglypuff, damn it! So I make what I can, and use this to keep myself focused and precise." Unbeknownst to them, another commuter was walking towards Ganondorf, and before that random person could say a greeting, Ganondorf went first... with his Forward B attack, grabbing him and plummeting him with darkness, to the hard concrete. He then grabbed him and tossed him across the street. "WALK _WITH_ TRAFFIC, JACKASS!" He returned to his commute very shortly.

"I-I can't feel my pinky toe..."

"Was that really necessary?" Pit asked.

"Very." Ganondorf turned the corner, heading down towards the bustling area of the city.

"Well, do you mind a buddy to jog with?" The angel asked innocently.

The Gerudo only replied with a smirk. "Just keep your wings out of my face. We'll be out here until we head back."

Smiling delightfully, the angel and the Lord of Evil kept jogging briskly during the dawning morning.

With all of Ganondorf's morning energy channelled, you better believe he's gonna destroy R.O.B. for all that pain it caused last chapter.

--

(**Chapter 8.2: Olympiad**)

The 2008 Olympic Games are coming to Beijing. So what better way to ignite the flames of friendly competition? Having two of the greatest video game icons, Mario Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog, in the same game for the first time in history! _"Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games"_ was soon unleashed into the world. While personally, I would've wanted to see them join for the first time in a platforming game created by Miyamoto-sama (due to Sonic Team being less than favorable these days), that's neither in the here and now.

The Rec Room. This is where Wario and Wolf would usually play Foosball with Ike and Diddy Kong. Where Donkey Kong would throw darts. Where Lucas would mind-hack a Galaga machine to play without quarters to quell his small homesickness and missing his girl Kumatora. Where Ness would often challenge and beat said Lucas at some bitchin' air hockey. And where Mr. Game and Watch would watch with delight as the fruits of his labor (the Rec Room he asked Master Hand and Sakurai-sama for) were being played and well-cared for.

At the far end, we have Mario and Sonic, oddly enough _playing_ Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. Even more odd in the fact that Mario was playing as _Sonic_, and Sonic was playing as _Mario_. There were uncharacteristic cheers and cries from the both of them, motoring their arms to get their on-screen personas to outrun the virtual Luigi, Blaze, Knuckles, Wario, Bowser, and Eggman. And now it was neck-and-neck... And...

"YES!" Sonic stood up from his seat, doing a merry jig. "I got your pasta rump, plumber boy!"

"Whoa!" Mario was impressed. "You play a better Mario than-a me!"

"Yeah I certainly do--" His cheer was halted on the spot. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on..." He turned back to him. "Something weird just came into my head."

"EXPLAIN!" The plumber from Brooklyn overreacted.

"Okay. We just played a game that had US in it. That's not what's weird."

"Well don't-a put-a my nuts in a grip! Keep-a going."

"What's weird is... I just played you, and you played me, and I just won, but by playing as you."

"Your-a point being?"

"Does that mean I still win, or did _you_ win? I mean, stop me if I'm not making any sense; even though we were just playing a game, and the fact that the characters in said game just so happen to have our faces on it, and that any character, played properly, can practically beat any other character flat-out--"

"Like putting in-a your Miis in-a the game?" Mario interrupted.

"Exactly! The Miis, realistically, should NEVER be able to beat **ANY** of our friends in **any** of these competitions! So back to my original gripe: how morally and ironically awkward is it, to be a gaming mascot, playing a game about two former-rival companies, where a gaming mascot, such as myself, happened to win and beat my rival mascot, but by using a character who so happens to BE my rival mascot in said game?"

Mario had to think really hard about this... but couldn't. "Aaahh, stop-a talking. My brain, it-a hurts."

"It's really not that complicated. I'll have to explain it to you lunkheads sometime."

Mario and Sonic nodded... to Snake, who was watching the whole time via sitting there on a La-Z Boy lounger.

"HOW LONG WERE YOU THERE?" The two of them reacted.

"beep beep ding meep rrrriiing beep?" Mr. Game and Watch asked, asking Snake _"Where did you get that chair?"_

--

Please review and tell me how ya liked it!


	9. Action Delicious

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Ryxlet, thanks to your suggestion, this tale shall be told!

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(**Chapter 9: Action Delicious**)

I will be honest.

In my honest opinion, the best ice cream in the world does NOT come from Baskins Robbins or Dairy Queen. For the real, delicious deal, it's gotta be Marble Slab Creamery! So many delicious ice cream flavors to pick, such as swiss chocolate, raspberry, cheesecake, mango, and even birthday cake flavors, and you can even mix in toppings such as sprinkles, fruits, candies, nuts, and crushed up chocolate bars! And waffle cones are SO tasty as well! But this isn't about me selling myself out here, I'm not making any money out of this.

This is about how even the hard-willed and ever-determined Samus Aran needs a break from the fighting.

And heading into the town that Ganondorf told her about during his morning commutes, as he's _very_ selective about who he tells his discoveries to, she saw a sight she never thought she'd want to see: an ice cream place. Reminding her too much of an Earth childhood she never had, the bounty hunter just let herself stare semi-intently inside, looking at simple people eating simple foods, not giving a damn about people who _weren't_ pointing out her shapely, skin tight Zero Suit. If Ridley were here, he'd probably say nothing, because he'd incinerate the crap out of this place. Ridley has great contempt for humanity.

But when Pikachu followed right behind her, (and let's face it, even though it's not official, those two are basically like the best of friends, because she was a bounty hunter, and he liked to eat sweet foods.) and let out a cute little pika, he pushed the door open, unaware that Samus followed the little yellow mouse inside.

When it came to eating at an ice cream place, Samus was a shy virgin, unaware of how to get it done. Not like her at all. On the other end, Pikachu was a stud. He hopped onto a small part of the table, got the attention of a worker, pointed out his order, what he wanted mixed in (since this place had a special topping just for Pikachu: yummy Sitrus Berries), and got a cone. She was even surprised when he pulled out money to pay. After all, that Pikachu wasn't gonna make off with free ice cream; she knew him better than that.

Samus decided to keep things simple, and stuck with Vanilla. When she wasn't being flooded with '_what could've been's_' and '_oh my God, why does Pikachu look so endearing with some stray ice cream stuck on his nose?_', she inadvertently took a large bite, and felt a snap of brain freeze.

"Aaahhh..." The bounty hunter had her forehead in her hand. "Hmph... that actually felt kinda good."

"Pika pi!!" Pikachu kept on eating. When a tiny chunk of Sitrus Berry fell off his ice cream and on the table, he saw Samus reach for it and look at it strangely. "Piiika!" He said in a 'Try it!' manner.

She nodded, ate it, and felt a sudden wave of comfort flood over her. "Why is this so sweeeeeeet?" Samus almost chirped. And Samus NEVER chirps.

And it could've stayed like that, just the two friends eating--

"I'LL GET MY USUAL PLEASE!" Until the overly unneeded, heroic tone of Captain Falcon boomed across the place. Thankfully, no one was working at the back at the moment, and the only people eating were Samus and Pikachu. "Ah! Hey Sammy! How's it going?"

"Falcon, what the HELL are you doing here?" She asked with such annoyance coming over her.

"I come here every Friday, my dear Sammy."

"It's Tuesday."

"I'm trying new things in my schedule, hun." He flipped his usual heroic gesture. "Now what say you finish off that non-slimmin' vanilla, head back to my place, and we'll smooch up a storm?"

She gave a most _disgusted _look at him, especially since this was a openly public place. "Get out my face, Falcon, before I lodge that cocky attitude of yours up someplace you don't WANT IT TO BE."

"Oh c'mon, you don't mean that, you crazy girl, you!" The male bounty hunter persisted. "But don't you worry about a thing. I won't be rough with you!"

"Oh?" Her warning obviously ignored, she walked up to him, much to Falcon's delight, and properly implanted her knee into his abdomen, much to Falcon's chagrin. "I will." She notioned to Pikachu to get going.

"So... this is how it must be, isn't it, Samus?" The reinvigorated body of Falcon stood up again, a burning aura surrounding him. His voice was now booming with determination. "If the only way for you to accept my love is through BURNING COMBAT--"

"Oh my God..." Samus could not understand the immense embarrassment washing over her.

"THEN _BRING _IT, SAMUS ARAN!!"

It all went down with a Paralyzer shot to the naughty place. Falcon felt himself become enwrapt with pain and numb sensations, clutching himself. He shook it all off in a manner of seconds, and just before Samus could walk out of the establishment, her job of keeping Falcon in his place for the day well done, she got a hard slap in the back of her head by a **chair**. And Pikachu... oh Lord, he don't TAKE that guff from no one who harms his best friend. So he jumped right onto Falcon's face, and zapped him a good amount of times with his electric jolts.

"Why you little--!" He grabbed Pikachu off of his face, and threw him hard into a wall, watching the Pokemon lay there on the floor. He was doing some kind of stupid-looking victory jig. "YEAH! UP YOURS, LITTLE MOUSE--" He got electro-tethered by the more-than-angry-now Samus, slamming his face hard into the glass display, breaking it good. Now it was a brawl of punches, kicks, claws, bites, paralyzing electricity, and flaming limbs.

In a surprise act, Falcon grabbed Samus by her long ponytail, and threw her face into one of the ice cream pails. He kept face-pressing her into the cold stuff a good number of times. "How do ya like it now?"

She opened her eyes past the cold, creamy goodness, ate some of it off her lips, and said "Hmm, this tastes pretty good."

Confused, Falcon looked at the name of the ice cream he kept dunking her face in. "Ah, it's Apple Pie-flavored."

"No wonder it tastes so good!" The female bounty hunter exclaimed.

"Well, in that case, I better get me a spoon!" Falcon let go of Samus's ponytail, and realized that that was his fatal mistake. "Uh-oh..."

Samus Aran and Pikachu lept right on top of the F-Zero racer, zapping him for all he's worth! When Pikachu started getting tired, he shook his fur, and out popped the ominous glow of a Smash Ball. To this day, no one knows HOW Pikachu stashed a Smash Ball in his fur, or _why_; okay, maybe THIS was for why. Samus fired repeatedly at it, while standing on top of Captain Falcon, felt the powerful ball shatter into her body, and what he caught a glimpse of, was nothing short of awe-inspiring.

"NO WORDS... CAN DESCRIBE..." No, words _couldn't _describe Falcon getting energy-comboed repeatedly before getting flung out of the window of the ice cream place. And out stepped the fully-armored Power Suit glory of Samus Aran. She grabbed Falcon, "No wait I want to LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE..." and launched him into the air.

"Another Smash Ball, Pikachu?" She asked.

The electric mouse let loose another Smash Ball, again not knowing where it came from. Samus took it, blasted a missile into it, and felt the power readings from her suit overload like crazy. And before the male bounty hunter could catch the sweet blessing of concrete road, he landed on the not soft, not satisfying, full-on blast of her Zero Laser, sending him flying like a shooting star into the Mansion, cued out with a twinkle.

"Damn it..." Samus cursed under her breath as her armor broke apart. "And I just had it functional again..."

"Pika!" Pikachu managed to do the right thing, and showed her a pint-size tub of ice cream.

"You can take it home in pints?" Samus suddenly smiled like a little girl in her past. "That is... awesome!"

-scene change-

"And that's how I fell down some stairs!" Captain Falcon lied, as he was all covered in bandages, a cast for his broken arm and leg, and while Lucas was administering small bursts of PSI Lifeup to his battered being.

"Falcon," Mario, decked out as Dr. Mario, shook his head out of disbelief. "You didn't-a think we wouldn't-a see the Zero Laser from that-a distance? I bet Samus-a beat the crap out-a you, with a _smile _on her face."

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	10. Tea Party

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Another _smash_ idea from Fire Emblem MewMew! ...What was I thinking with that pun?

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(**Chapter 10: Tea Party**)

None of the guys knew about this secret alcove leading to an always sunny, always beautiful-looking flower garden behind the Mansion. First cultivated by a joint effort of the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and the Psychic Pokemon Mewtwo, this was intended to be a safe haven for Smashers/Brawlers who wanted to get away from it all. However, when they thought about how rowdy some of the guys would act (Bowser & Captain Falcon, for starters), alongside the fact that Mewtwo wasn't going to be around anymore, the Psychic Pokemon set up a Psychic barrier that allowed only the women of Brawl to come through here, while appearing invisible to the men.

Peach always thanked Mewtwo for this small gift to the girls.

In the courtyard of this hideaway, four guests were partaking some much appreciated R&R, at a set-up table with teapots, tea cups, tiny little plates, lacy doilies, and just to let their silly side out, they wore large, puffy hats that would make women of the 19th century gasp at the size of them.

"Okay, girls, I'm so glad you could find the time to come out here." Peach said delightfully.

Zelda nodded. "This _is_ a healthy-looking vista. God, I want to just get away from Link, Ganon, and that Hanenbow location. It drives me nuts!"

"Puff jiggly jig!" Jigglypuff added, its flower-tipped hat swaying with its movements. "Jigg pu puff jig jiggly pu puff!"

"Oh my! Really?" The Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom giggled. "Well that's strange news to hear, indeed."

"Yes."

"Puff."

"What am I supposed to do again?" The fourth girl, Samus in her Zero Suit, with her own large, puffy hat, asked, obviously unenthused.

"Samus dearie, you don't have to do anything! It's a tea party!" Peach explained, while pouring a cup for the bounty hunter. "No need for you to get all stern and serious here."

"With all due respect, Peach," Samus bluntly stated, while accepting the cup. "I don't DO girly and giggly either."

"You act as if you never had a tea party before..." Peach said. When Samus looked confused at her and didn't say a thing, the Princess was shocked. "You never _had_ a tea party before?"

"Tea parties were nonsensical to the Chozo, and I agree with them." She stated simply.

"This is the kind of thing that girls always do though, Samus." Zelda said.

"Well, _excuse me_, but I was not given the chance to act like normal girls." She coldly countered. She took a sip, and could only look into the contents of the cup. "Admittedly, this is good."

"Well, of course dearie." Peach said happily. "Now who should we start talking smack behind their backs first?"

Samus's brow perked at the hearing of this. "I'll go." Zelda spoke up. "I just can't STAND the way Link keeps arguing with people. Especially more so with Young Lin-- I mean, _Toon_ Link. He was already bad enough picking fights with him in Melee, and now it seems to have worsened since Brawl."

"They inadvertently ruined my flower garden!" Peach pouted.

"Was that why Falcon was crawling his way to the infirmary that day?" Samus asked. With Peach's nod, she smiled. "Ah, good work then, Princess. And pass me a cookie."

"And what's with Meta Knight, anyway?" Peach added. "Is it true that he added some fasteners to his mask to keep it from falling off during a fight because he's so ashamed of his face?"

"I saw him do that, once." Zelda spoke up again. "I wanted to investigate, so I became Sheik, snuck in without him knowing, and, wouldn't you know it, under that mask, he looks like Kirby!"

"Really?" Samus's brow perked higher.

"Yeah! He's basically a Kirby who sounds so deep and masculine, I just wanted to drop down and hug him because he was so cute-looking!" The Hylian Princess squealed.

"Huh..." The bounty hunter took another sip. "And I always thought he was a Bob-omb with a sword and no fuse."

"Puff ji jiig jiggly pu jig pu puff jig jiggly jig?" The Pokemon grabbed its teacup and sipped. "Jiggly puff pu pu jig jig puff!"

"Oh, no doubt about it!"

"Indeed."

"Very intriguing... I've never thought about life that way..." Samus mused. "I wonder why Nana isn't here too."

"It was tricky, but I did manage to seperate the both of them one day through a favor I owed Ike." Peach said. The bounty hunter snickered at this. "Oh, Samus, grow up. Anyway, I did ask Nana to join us, but she really doesn't like being seperated from Popo at any time, it seems."

"Hmm, so that's how strong their blood bond is." Zelda mused. "Now that's what I call a pair of inseperable twins."

"Twins?" Samus objected. "Are you sure their twins?"

"What else would they be, Samus?"

"Oh, I see!" Peach exclaimed, acting all lovey-dovey. "They're both blood-bound lovers, who can complete any hurdle sicked at them, because they are and always _WILL BE_ forever there for each other!"

"That matches my thoughts on them more, hun, except for the overly-romantic crap." Samus pointed out.

"That's SICK!" Zelda voiced with disgust. "They're not lovers, girls!"

"Yeah, but have you really SEEN the way the both of them act with each other and around each other?" The bounty hunter threw out again. "Sibling-wise, that's TOO close. It's an attachment that's NOT familial, and where's my damn cookie? I asked for it a couple of minutes ago!"

And thus, from a topical standstill of ambiguous results, as well as an angry Jigglypuff sizing up the ladies in more ways than one, ends the first meeting of the 'Mansion Girls Tea Time Soiree.'

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Please review and let me know how ya like it!


	11. IdjitBox

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Dark Kyotoa presents a new challenge: and it is BROUGHT!

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(**Chapter 11: Idjit-box**)

Among all the facilities that encourages vital movement and exercise of the Brawlers, from the Multi-Man Stadiums to batting Mr. Sandbag around, none can agree that after a good day's work of sending people flying, downing the competition with a nice glass of Golden Hammers, or even the more curious attempting to look up a dress, nothing beats coming in all tired, settling on the couch, and watchin' TV.

And that's what a bored Ness, Popo, Nana, Pokemon Trainer, and Lucas are doing right now, heading over to the small and quaint TV room.

"Okay, popcorn's here." Ness said. "And now, to pick the show for which we eat said popcorn!"

"YEAH! YEAH!" Popo and Nana yipped excitedly.

"Nothing like a relaxing time with some good pals!" The trainer agreed.

"Yeah, let's watch this one!" Lucas impulsively grabbed the remote, and switched it to a channel, showing off five blue giant moles about to fight evil!

"What the?" The Onett boy looked on. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What? It's just one of my favorite shows I watched in Tazmily before I came here, _'The Third-Strongest Guardian!'_ It's the best!"

"Yeah, and I fought them and beat them all! They kept mumbling something about how being the third-strongest was the way to go!"

"Well that won't do!" The trainer added. "You gotta be the _strongest_ to make it!"

"Agreed, and we're not watching that!" Ness took the remote away from Lucas with his mind, and switched the channel to something else. "If you want quality, go with the '_PSI-FI Hunters'_ show!"

"No way!" Lucas countered. "I've never missed an episode of my favorite show before, and I don't intend to now!"

"I agree!" The trainer added. "But only because I wouldn't understand that show! I don't even _have_ any Psychic Pokemon! At least not yet I don't..."

"Well tough on you guys, because--"

"WE'LL PICK! WE'LL PICK!" The Ice Climbers giddily snagged the remote, bundled together, and turned it to a channel that showed polar bears.

"Ah heck no!" Ness said. "We are SO not watching that either!"

"But we need all the tips we can get to club whales if we need to!" Popo countered, with Nana turning the volume higher, shushing him up.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"You're stupid!" Nana snapped back.

"Oh good comeback there, missy!"

"I wanna know whose the third strongest guardian!"

"LUCAS, KNOCK IT OFF!"

"Hold on a minute, you guys." The trainer mediated his way inbetween Ness, Lucas, and the Climbers. "It's obvious here that we've got a three-way tie for Anger and Tension. So it'll be up to _me_ to decide the program that'll calm us ALL down." With that, he yanked the remote away from Nana, and set it to a strangely calming show. "There. _The Real Adventures of Gari Gardevoir_, the male Gardevoir who stops Poke-crimes with his brother Nick Gallade."

"That..." Nana was agasped. "was... not... WORTH... CHANGING THE CHANNEL!"

"Calm down, Nana!" Popo tried, but failed to control the other Ice Climber.

Now it had become a comical scuffle of psychokinetics, ice, pyrokinetics, hammers, kicks, and punches; who knew the Trainer could fight so effectively without using his Pokemon, who he let spend some time with the other Pokemon in the Mansion. It was now your typical kid outburst, with loud whines and complaints, name-calling and face-punching, and even biting and mind-zapping a few times, as the Trainer, Lucas, Ness, and the Ice Climbers were all arguing about who should get possession of the remote.

"WE'RE WATCHING _THE THIRD-STRONGEST GUARDIAN!_"

"NO WE'RE NOT! WE'RE WATCHING _PSI-FI HUNTERS_!"

"ARCTIC NATURE SHOW!" "ARCTIC NATURE SHOW!"

"_REAL ADVENTURES OF GARI GARDEVOIR!_"

And no one took into account a progessively louder beeping, which led to a sudden explosion taking out the small TV area. The kids were all covered in soot and owies; none of them ever knew about how the remote and TV would detonate on reaction to bitching, whining, and emo. Now the remote was all busted, with buttons popping out of place, the popcorn becoming tiny chunklets of gritty carbon, and the TV screen imploded with glass shards all around it.

"I... I guess we over-did it." Ness said exhaustedly, ignoring the Ice Climbers' sudden eruption of tears.

"Oh well... then again, I think my show was a rerun episode." The Trainer plopped his hands behind his head.

"... Well, it's a good thing I'm gonna get packing right now. I'm going back home for a few months." Lucas shook off some of the excess soot, walking away from the small TV room. "See you guys later."

"Yeah..." The other four were in a daze. "... ...What?" And with that, the four kids fainted.

"**WHAT THE**?" Bowser was all stunned, almost dropping his plate of cookies and milk. "Oh no you kids did **NOT** just destroy the TV! You LITTLE--"

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Please review and let me know how ya liked it!


	12. Luigi

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

A nice amalgam of An Ordinary Fan and bladzer's suggestions have brought THIS to life!

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(**Chapter 12: Luigi**)

"Why so down, my plumb chum?"

Captain Falcon had approached his fellow semi-regular comrade, Luigi Mario, whose head was held in his hands, letting loose a big sigh. No one knew how or even why Luigi was so down and out the last couple of weeks. In fact, Bowser, Wario, and even Yoshi didn't give three nods of a damn towards the tall plumber's problems. But if there's one thing Captain Falcon won't stand for, and that's two things: seeing people acting depressed without even trying to fix their own problems, and forgetting to use coupons for his favorite grocery items. But this tale is about the former, not the latter.

"Plumb chum?" Luigi looked up from his depression, confuddled by Falcon's addressing of him, but then sank back down. "Nah, it-a doesn't concern you."

"Wrong answer, Luigi." Falcon took a seat next to him at the front steps of the Mansion. "Now methinks I'll ask again: why are you so down?"

"Fine. Falcon, how can I be-a the great and bold hero like-a you?"

"Luigi, I am _far_ from being a role model you should emulate." He laid back on the slab of step that was in front of the door. "I've had wild adventures, heart-racing experiences, and the women... the women were _average_." He sat up again. "However, if it's a cry for self-improvement, I'll be glad to help!"

"You will?" The green one was overjoyed.

"Of course, my friend!" Falcon stood up triumphantly. "When I get through with you, you'll end up becoming a contender of truth and justice everywhere! Or in the worst case scenario, some evil, honor-bound terror!"

"Either way, that-a sounds good to me!" Luigi was now all giddy. "When do we-a start?"

"We start now, my plumb chum! And God help me if you even think about asking what's the topic sentence!"

Before anything was started, the front door opened outwards, sending Falcon and Luigi down the steps. A surprised Bowser looked below, having pushed the door open.

"Oops! My bad!" He said. He turned to Lucario, Charizard, and Olimar, who were all grinning like idiots. Bowser gave a thumbs up. "Got 'em."

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"First step is to boost that confidence of yours!" Captain Falcon lectured. "Now, reviewing your past performances from Mario & Luigi 1 and Super Paper Mario, you've pulled off some great performances! Exceptional skills, both when you were partying with Mario and friends, and when you temporarily became the bad guy, Mr. something."

"_L_."

"We're not talking abouts books of death here, Luigi." Falcon chided. "Now, we need you to tap into that untapped well of Luigi-osity. The Luigiwell, if I may add!"

"Well, it's-a not that hard, really." Luigi shrugged lazily. "I'm a good team player, if-a you remember, so I can-a certainly pull-a my weight around if I-a need to. If I'm alone, of course I-a do what I can to make sure I don't get-a jumped by-a ghosts or-a body-snatchers." His tone turned a little annoyed. "As for when I was-a Mr. L, I-a don't-a remember much since I was-a brainwashed, and _especially_ since I-a technically was-a _the __**last boss**_..."

"Yeah, what the F WAS that?" Falcon now took Luigi into the hallway, currently occupied by Toon Link and Squirtle, playing with round marbles on the opposite end. "If we tap into the Luigiwell, you'll then gain your unfound strength! And with that strength, you'll BREAK DOWN THAT WALL!"

"... Isn't that-a Samus's dorm?" Luigi asked.

"Yep, this is revenge, for beaming the crap out of me." Falcon began motivating Luigi. "Okay, tap into that well, Luigi Mario. Take a deep breath... focus..." When he saw the plumber in those phases, he pointed towards the wall. "Now think of the one thing that PISSES you off SO MUCH, that you want to destroy it! Now... unleash yourself, Luigi!"

Luigi channeled his energies (green fire, electricity, and weird pixels; strange, huh?), felt some kind of weird fourth energy course through him, ultimately triggering the Negative Zone, encompassing the entire hallway, driving Captain Falcon into tripping spells, Toon Link and Squirtle into dancing the Macarena (go on; picture the Squirtle doing the Macarena lol), and gravity seemed to be altered at around 20 percent of the hall.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH--"

What happened after was nothing short of a miracle. He jump-uppercutted the wall, coating the entire hallway in a magnificent explosion! An explosion that will be told and retold for generations to come; everyone there was covered in insulation, wood, drywall, and a new jagged opening next to Samus's door.

"HOLY CRAP, MAN!" Falcon was astounded. Frightened horribly and in near-shock, but astounded nonetheless. "I SAID BREAK THE WALL DOWN, NOT CAUSE _EXTRA_ COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!"

Luigi snapped out of it, and blushed uncontrollably. "Oops... I-a think I went-a too far."

"YOU'RE NOT KIDDING!" The bounty hunter harped again, before collecting himself. "Okay, that was a--wait! SAMUS!" He ran into her room, with the plumber in tow. "You alright, Sammy?"

Fortunately, she didn't seem to notice the sound of the F-Zero racer. She was still caught up in Luigi's Negative Zone effect, fully in a trance, blushing passionately, and mouth open. "_Ooohh... Marth..._"

Captain Falcon, at first surprised at her 'still-being-alive' phase, now grinned wide. "Oh, _anything_ that happens with THIS will just be _gravy_!" He turned back to Luigi. "Come! Time for the next lesson!"

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"Confidence and tapping into your 'Luigiwell' worked out so well!" Falcon congratulated the plumber. The two had been training all day and all night, and even all through the midnight-AM times, coming back to 11 AM now. Sorta like a Rocky montage, only with a skinny-fat plumber and a 38 year old bounty hunter in place of boxers. "Now, as a bonus lesson, it's time to teach you, my ultimate technique... the Falcon Punch!"

"Huh? Why would I-a want to learn-a the Falcon Punch?"

"It never hurts to learn a technique that's not your own." He stood in front of Luigi, his back facing the plumber. "Now, you just pull your arm back, feel the energy well up inside your fist, which should be clenched up by now, and let loose with the power! FALCON... **PAAAAAAWWNCH**!!" He delivered a beautifully done fiery flash of justice, fizzling out to beautiful embers. "And that, is a world class Falcon Punch. Now you try, Luigi!"

He turned around to find Luigi not there anymore. "What the?"

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"Mario..."

"What the?"

The red plumber turned around to see Luigi, dressed in a all-too familiar style of black and green. No, it wasn't Mr. L again. Actually, technically, it is. Luigi was glowing angrily in an aura of black, swirled with green and electric; a vomit black, if you really wanna think it like that. Anywho, the younger brother was now P.O.ed, and pointed a finger at Mario.

"I will longer," Luigi voiced darkly. "be the king of 'second bananas', Mario..."

"Uh... that was-a Colonel who said that..."

"TOO LATE, MARIO! NOW YOU DIE!!"

With swirling energies enveloping him, he unleashed himself as a powerful missile, hurtling straight towards Mario. All the emotions that were held inside him; the dark, deep, certainly-_not_-emo feelings were unveiling themselves, adding more oomph and speed to the attack.

All his envy.

All his cowardice.

All his determination.

All his--wait, is Mario pulling out his cape?

"What."

At the split-second before Mario's face became ground-up with the ground, the shorter plumber whipped out his cape in time, and reflected the monstrosity of Luigi's attack, back the opposite way.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--**DAMN **YOUR _SIDE B _SPECIAL!!"

And that's why the Mansion is now missing a corner... and Bowser, a few shell spikes.

"Was that _really _a necessary counter to my pushing you and Falcon down the stairs?"

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An extra thanks goes out to Hinata-teh-Lefty of deviantart, for giving me that sudden motivation for a shot at Samus/Marth humor!

Please review and let me know how ya like it!


	13. Bakers

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Now, we'll be bringing MimiB.Real's tasty treat to fruition!

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(**Chapter 13: Bakers**)

Nothing calms the soul more than cooking. And by cooking, I don't mean putting packaged noodles in a boiling pan of water, and prepping it afterwards; and I certainly don't mean **_pizza pops_** either. I mean actually getting down, cutting up fresh ingredients, cooking your own tasty meats, all that jazz. A home-cooked meal is truly the best meal in the world. And such applies as well when the application is baking.

There's nothing like mixing ingredients and sweets, sometimes a little something savory or cinnamony, and baking it in the oven, for that personal touch. Homemade chocolate chip cookies, yummy orange cake, and even to my young recollection, yummy bacon and cheese muffins, are DELICIOUS. The kinds of treats that makes a home feel like a _home_.

But as an explosion rips up a small part of the kitchen inside the Mansion, treats aren't exactly made here.

"Wow..." King Dedede stood there in shock, robe, apron, soot, and all. "Methinks I overdid it on the baking powder."

"Baking powder is not supposed to be EXPLOSIVE!" Bowser roared, his own pretty apron atomized to ash.

"That wasn't baking powder, scale-face!" Ganondorf turned. "That was my collection of explosive dust!"

"WHY WOULD YOU HAVE EXPLOSIVE DUST IN THE KITCHEN?"

"BECAUSE THAT STOVETOP STOVE-SUCKS!"

"HOLD ON, FELLERS!" Dedede boomed out his opinion. "Okay, everyone's calm now. Good. Now let's try to remember why we're here."

"Um..." Ganondorf raised his hand. "We're going to trick everyone into thinking we're nice, so we can beat them up later?"

Not amused at all, Dedede pointed his hammer at the Gerudo. "That might be what the both of yas are doin', but don't y'all remember that time the three of us were fighting in the Battlefield, and all of three of us were _mauled_ horribly by five Smart Bombs?"

"At the same time..." Bowser tried repressing the memory, but it did not work. The explosions were so loud, that everyone from the Mansion thought that there was an earthquake. "It was so loud, Wolf told me, that he thought it was the second coming of _Andross Jesus_!"

Ganondorf laughed out loud. "So what's the point now, chubbkins?"

Dedede glared at him, but then went to the closet and pulled out another large, turtle-sized apron for Bowser. "Don't ya remember that it was Peach and Zelda who fixed us up real good, since good ol' Dr. Mario went AWOL on us that day."

"My bad." Bowser admitted. "I beat him senseless with my claws before our three-for-all."

"Scale-bag." The 'king' of Dream Land got a large bag of ingredients out of the cupboards and pantries. "Irregardless, we gotta bake the girls a cake to show our appreciation for what they did to us! Because, let's face it, without the girls, Smash Mansion would pretty much be a _sausage fest_."

Bowser nodded in agreement, but Ganondorf was confused. "Why call it a sausage fest? We don't have any sausages here... no chourisos or kielbasas or even pork links here! I haven't had a decent breakfast in _generations!_" When Bowser and Dedede laughed at this, his eyes widened, and joined in the laughing. "hahahahahaMWAHAHAHAHA! I get it now! MWAHAHAHA... I think I'm going to _**KILL**_ the both of you later."

"That's great, and I'm lookin' forward to it," Dedede said. "But right now, we need to get this DONE!"

And so, Bowser, Dedede, and even Ganondorf put their heads together. Realizing that that didn't work so well, what with minor head boo-boos, they got straight to their task at hand.

And yet, so much seemed to have gone wrong...

"TOO MUCH FLOUR! I CAN'T STIR IT!"

"WHO PUT ONE OF YOSHI'S EGG PROJECTILES IN HERE? THERE'S NO YOLK INSIDE! JUST A HAM SANDWICH!"

"GANON!! THAT'S BAKING _SODA_, NOT BAKING POWDER!!"

"How many Powdered Zora bone sprinkles should I put in?"

"_GANONDORF_!"

"...Two sprinkles?"

But, just like any self-determined anime (the kind Otacon usually watches, I bet), the three of them finally got it together!

"Give me four eggs!" Dedede cried out loud.

"On its way!" Bowser grabbed a chicken out of nowhere, gave it a fierce roar of intimidation, and out popped 3 dozen eggs. Taking the four from the pile, Bowser tossed the bird away. He heroically launched the eggs to the penguin, who cracked it and mixed it in with ease, while tossing away the eggshells.

"Vanilla!" Dedede blurted out next.

"Extract or ice cream?" Ganondorf offered.

"Extract, you goon!"

"Coming up!" The king of evil booted the vial of vanilla extract over to Dedede, who mixed it in. Ganondorf booted the ice cream, however, into Lucas's room, currently empty and now sticky with ice cream. "Meh! He'll clean it up when he gets back!"

"Butter, mixed berry yogurt, and sweet, sweet cherries!" Dedede got all these ingredients in hand with the mixture and flour, and now he was stirring it with the handle of his hammer, because, you see, hammers are for _kings_, while wooden spoons are for_ women _and _men_.

"Get the better batter in the oven now!"

Bowser timed the opening of the oven, with Ganondorf having preheated it to perfect baking temperature, and Dedede heroically bringing the mix into the oven. With the oven shut, and the cake in perfect baking order, the three of them decided to relax now. They exuded so much effort, the three of them decided to just sit there, in exhaustion, watching the fruit of their over-done labor rise slowly and deliciously in the oven. And then as the oven stopped... uh-oh...

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Dedede panicked.

"THE OVEN CRAPPED OUT ON US!" Ganondorf was in awe and anger.

Bowser, however, was still determined. "Time to cook this baby myself!" He huffed, puffed, and was ready to let loose a torrent of his flames.

"NO BOWSER--"

Dedede's warning was to no avail, for his flames collided with the trace remnants of gas that was still in the oven, and...

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"Wow! Look at this!"

Peach and Zelda were in awe at the large pile of bouquets sitting in the living room. Beautiful, fragrant, and in all the colors of the light spectrum, including a single Piranha Plant.

The Hylian princess picked up a card in the middle of the 100-some flowers on the table. "_Thanks for repairing our wounds from the 5-Smarts incident. This is our payment of kindness to you. From: Bowser, Ganondorf, and King Dedede._ Aww, isn't that nice of them?"

Peach giggled, feeding the lone Piranha Plant in the middle a cookie. "That IS so nice! Especially from Bowser and Ganon!" Her eyes made notice to the black, round disc next to the bouquets. "Ooh! Look! It's a mini-table top!"

That's one good use for a charred, hard-as-diamond cake...

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Review and let me know what else ya like!


	14. Are GO! & Shootout

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Now it's time for a two-fer! A personal outburst of mine, and a burstastic viewpoint from Synapse X.

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(**Chapter 14.1: Agents...**)

"Are you ready to do this, Colonel?"

"No, but I already owe you for getting my head out of the toilet, so I guess I have no choice."

-scene change-

Captain Olimar was in the garden, looking at the beauty that was Peach's miniature flower meadows. He caught a sight of a pretty red-petaled flower, sniffed it, loved the scent, and immediately uprooted it, revealing a purple Pikmin.

"HOLY SHEET!" The tiny man astounded himself. "You fellers are so rare to find naturally!"

And so he pretty much uprooted all of Peach's flowers, transforming them into a veritable rainbow of Pikmin.

"Today, this garden..." Olimar nodded with glee. "TOMORROW THE WORLD--"

"_NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_!!"

The tiny, tiny man turned around to see an anguished, raging Peach behind him. Her aura was fiery and venemous, and her eyes, glowing white with waterfall tears streaming down her face. She had all the reason to be flaming pissed at Olimar: he had turned her beautiful garden into his own miniature army.

"My... flowers..."

"Uh-oh..."

"I'm going to BEAT YOUR **ASS!!**"

Olimar was practically with his back against the wall; scared, and sure that he'll be dead five times before he hits the soft dirt, he resorted to his base instinct:

"HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLPPP!!"

-scene change-

"You guys owe me _big_ for this..." Colonel Roy Campbell shook his head in disbelief for what he was about to do. "Agents, are... **GOOOOOOOOOO!!**"

-scene change-

From the front of the Smash Mansion, came the sound of three warp pipes shooting out of the ground, which in turn shot three people out. Dressed in black suits, black shades, and microphones, Sonic, Mario, and Snake appeared in the nick of time, dropping down inbetween Peach and Olimar.

"HEY!" Mario cheered. "MISSION!" He held up a card that said **'Trouble Blooms! Fight for destiny, Explorer!'**

"I've always wanted to do this!" Sonic smiled widely.

"I gotta admit: this IS fun!" Even Snake couldn't help but find that playing as the Elite Beat Agents were so fun.

And as the strange music began playing (it's actually September by Earth, Wind, and Fire), Peach and Olimar couldn't help but let go of their rage and/or fear, with grins covering their faces, their hands in the air, swaying their arms and bodies like they just don't care. Even the Pikmin started mimicking Olimar's actions, getting lost in the groove.

And then the three of them turned to them, and let loose all hell! "Are you ready? **3, 2, 1, GO!!**"

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(**Chapter 14.2: Shootout**)

There's the flashy Smash Mansion, filled to the brim with plumbers, beasts, princesses, bounty hunters, Pokemans, kids, a hedgehog, a spy, and even a great evil.

And then there's a small nook outside the Mansion, with a smaller building there, merely called "Assist HQ." Not many know this, but this is where all the people who are summoned via the Assist Trophy items reside. None of the characters there really stay attached to this place, and are quite often free to come and go as they leave. _"Refuse none who enter, pursue none who leave_" was the motto. The motto didn't really fit, since Crazy Hand built this place, and he reads too much manga.

One could see the Hammer Brother polishing his hammer nicely before trying to hit on Lyn, while Little Mac couldn't take another word of Andross's jim-blabbery, so he pummeled him repeatedly, resulting with cries of mercy from the large gray piece of graphics. Waluigi could grumble all he want about not being a main character, but Samurai Goroh would just chop him repeatedly. And Mr. Resetti would lecture the Nintendog on why it's important to wear clothes.

Down in the shooting gallery, a bored Saki, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Isaac were just lazing on the lounge seats there.

"I am so bored..." Saki said, his voice muffled by sofa cushions.

"Hmph... pathetic lifeforms, this is going to drive me off my end." Shadow simply seethed.

"Wanna have a shooting contest?" The blond, non-wizard here asked.

The black hedgehog growled. "Oh, just because _my_ game had guns in it, you just automatically assume that I'm an expert at using them? YOU MAKE ME SICK!"

"So... ya wanna?" Saki asked again.

"...Yes."

So the human and the hedgehog got the firing range guns in hand, ordered the human targets to be placed at about fifty feet away from them, and with some kind of starting buzzer, the two had began. Both of the competitors fired at the same time, wasting their clips at the same speed, and shot off competitive glances at each other. When the targets returned back to them, it had turned out that Saki Amamiya's shots were more into the center of the target than the Ultimate Lifeform's shots for his.

"Hmph. Impressive, for a human." Shadow one-lined.

"Your's are pretty close to mine. That's actually kinda cool!" Saki smiled, before loading two more fresh targets onto the gallery. "Care for round two?"

"With gusto."

And the targets were once more returned to the back of the gallery, before they started unloading bullets into it. But before the last bullets were unloaded, the tiny little Robo, Ray MK I, flew straight into the gallery, triggering its "Shoot-em-up" Mode, and started unloading lasers and missiles all over the place. Isaac dashed back upstairs, while Shadow and Saki had to keep dodging left and right, to avoid any complete injuries.

The results came back: Saki and Shadow got three of their shots dead center, and three in the head center. Ray MK I had destroyed all the reserves of targets, as well as Saki and Shadow's pride.

Isaac only looked on, thinking to himself about the strange piece of nonsensical trivia he had seen earlier that day. In his mind, he recalled it with clarity.

"_Chuck Norris once challenged Vin Diesel to an arm-wrestling contest. Mr. T won._"

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Please review and let me know how ya like it!


	15. LANDMASTER!

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

This one's inspired from my reading SMS Yoshi's latest chapter of "_PK Smash Bros_". I just HAD to do this!

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(**Chapter 15: LANDMASTER!**)

"Looks like it's gonna be another nice day."

Falco had just gotten out the door of the Mansion, breathing in the almost pure taste of fresh, dewy air. The sunny day was happily warming the wondrous plumage of the Star Fox pilot. He felt like the first bird in the world to enjoy the pure, unadulterated experience of outside, like a prisoner shackled in the darkness.

At least, that's what he thought, until he saw Fox, Olimar, and R.O.B. outside before him, surprisingly enough playing... jump rope? Only on a swicked Tuesday morning.

"'ey, Fox! The hell ya doin'?" Falco cawwed. And since it's hard to consistently type out a Brooklyn/Italian accent for Falco, we'll just keep his text normal.

"What's it look like, bird brain?" The fur-covered pilot answered, jumping the rope while the tiny, tiny captain (and a purple Pikmin on top of his head) and the beeping robot swung the rope around. Amazingly, he was doing a good job of skipping. He puts whole neighborhoods of eight year old girls to shame... or was it the other way around?

"BZZZT!" R.O.B. twitched unintentionally, sending the rope straight up Fox's snout, toppling the furry humanoid into the mess of the rope now.

"AWW What happened?!" Fox struggled, trying to get himself out of his rope-bound imprisonment.

Meanwhile, Olimar, Falco, and even R.O.B. were chortling and rolling on the ground laughing their buns off at the poor furry leader of Star Fox. At the last minute, before good times could be had by the other three, Fox finally bursted out of the rope, ripping it to shreds. He let loose a fiery taunt, glared at Falco, and pointed his gun at the bird.

"Hey! What the heck, Fox?" He acted all cool about this. "No need for the blaster to the beak routine here, Fox ol' pal."

"Listen to the kind birdy!" Olimar whined.

"Why must you ALWAYS crush my dreams of being in the Olympic Jump Rope event?" Fox barked, tears in his eyes.

"What're ya talkin' about, ya crazy bastard?" Falco retorted. "Wait a minute... Did you eat that stupid breakfast cereal '_Jigglypuff Rounds_?'"

"YEAH! I'M HEFFED ON SUGAR!!" Fox howled suddenly, then started chasing his own tail, spinning stupidly.

"And to think, he's setting anthropomorphological evolution back a few hundred thousand years..." Olimar simply stated, watching Fox do that Three Stooges bit where he's laying on the floor, walking in a circle, 'woop woop woop wooping' all the while.

"Jeez, don't try to remind me..." Falco turned his head.

When all of a sudden, a flash in the sky alerted them to a strange fluctuation up above. This was nothing like the encounter with Tabuu in the Subspace simulator gone awry (sorta like the .hack series, except without the RPG lol). And when a large tank fell out of the sky, dropping immediately onto a small wing of the Mansion, unfortunately being the Girls' Tea Garden, all hell broke loose with the rallying cry of the intruder.

"**LANDOMASTAH**!!"

"Holy jeebees on a jeebees sandwich! With a side order of _expletive deleted_!" Olimar swore outloud, netting surprise reactions from the anthros and R.O.B.

"Wait..." Falco refocused on the tank. "What did that guy just say?"

"**LANDOMASTAH**!!"

"Yeah, he said **LANDOMASTAH**!!, Falco!" Fox was still under the pep of the sugar. Once more, a rare side-effect displayed by Fox McCloud.

"Ah jeez," Falco pinched the space between his eyes. "It's the Japanese Fox. He somehow broke his way through the language barrier to--"

"**LANDOMASTAH**!!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU... **LANDMASTER**!!"

Fox lept into the air, and before could have fully said 'Doodycacapeepeeshire', our Fox's Landmaster fell across from the other Fox's Landmaster. Both Landmasters were standing their ground, their shiny nozzles glinting in the sunlight, itching to let one shot out!

"**LANDOMASTAH**!!"

"**LANDMASTER**!!"

"I don't like where this is going!" Olimar shook in fear.

"BZZT! BZZ bzz bzz BZZT bz..." R.O.B. laughed after.

"This is gonna get stupid right here..." Falco shook his head.

"**LANDOMASTAH**!!"

"**LANDMASTER**!!"

The birdy pilot clutched his head in annoyance and pain. "Since I can't tell..."

"**LANDOMASTAH**!!"

"**LANDMASTER**!!"

"_SHUT UP _ALREADY!!"

Heroically, Olimar stepped forward. "Don't worry! I'll stop 'em both! With the Hocotate... **LANDYMASTER**!"

"What."

The bird looked up to see the tiny captain come down in a white, red, blue, yellow, and purple colored Landmaster. The bird could not believe his eyes. Then he saw R.O.B. buzzing all crazy like, as it rocketed high into the air, coming down in a beige, red, and white colored Landmaster. Then Mr. Game and Watch appeared out of nowhere, trampolining into the air, and coming down in a liquid mercury Landmaster. Even no-nonsense Solid Snake saw what happened, radioed Colonel for a new ride, and got a Gekko-Landmaster hybrid.

"**WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN' ON**?!"

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"WAAH!"

"Hey, Wolf, are you alright?" Lucas, back from his vacation with a small suitcase in tow, asked the leader of Star Wolf, who had just woken up in the hallway outside the blond PSI user's room.

The wolfman shook his head, and stood up. "Yeah, I'm okay, kid. Funny thing, though, I had this weird dream where I was that birdbrain Falco, and everyone had the Landmaster as their Final Smash."

"By Master Hand, the humanity!" The boy was in shock. "But, that doesn't explain why you were asleep outside of my room, and why you left this crudely written note saying you kicked ice cream in my room, while said ice cream is melting in my room as we speak! It smells like condensed cheese and root beer..."

"Kid, I don't like ice cream." Wolf bluntly stated. "I don't like your room, and I keep to myself in my room at the end of the day. So why would I do that?"

"...GANON!!"

Lucas and Wolf decided to team up and take out the lord of evil... for booting ice cream into Lucas's room. And not bothering to check the expiration date on it.

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Please review and let me know how ya like it!


	16. Dreaming

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

This one's a shortie, after having recently gotten Pokemon Mystery Dungeon (Explorers of Darkness is my version)!

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(**Chapter 16: Dreaming**)

"WARNING! WARNING! MAIN POWER GRIDS HAVE BEEN LOST!! AUXILIRY POWER HAS BEEN LOST!! ENTERING CRASH MODE!!"

"**Damn it!**"

And with a roaring crash, the Starship had throttled itself atop the waters of the mighty ocean, before becoming enveloped in a strange, wondrous light, and sinking into the depths.

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"Wh... where am I?"

The sounds of the quiet surf was all around me, as I woke to the sight of a beachfront. Nothing but a large body of water, almost circled in by a rocky formation. I look behind me to the grassy vista and vibrant foliage surrounding a large flight of steps going up.

"Where the hell am I? What happened to me?"

"HEY! HEY!!"

My eyes turned to see a something running towards me. It looked like... Pikachu? How did I know that it was Pikachu? By the time the little guy ran up to me... wait... why is he so big?

"It's you! It's really you, isn't it?" The Pikachu said to me.

"What do you mean, 'it's really me?'" I had asked in return. "Who are you?"

His eyes became all tear-filled. "You... you really don't remember??"

"I..." My hand went to my forehead. "I don't believe this... I don't remember a lot of things. I don't remember how I got here, or where I am. Even my identity is a haze... All I know is that I'm a human, whose stranded on some foreign place."

Pikachu could only look at me strangely. "Uh... I've seen a lot of things myself, ma'am. But you're not a human, you're a Pikachu like me."

"I'm a _**what**_?"

I went to the shallow end of the beach, and looked down at the reflection in the water. And all I could see looking back at me was... I don't believe it. I really _am_ a Pikachu! With a heart-shaped tail groove, small tuft of hair almost covering one of my eyes, and a ribbon on one of my ears.

"Oh holy retardation! I AM a Pikachu!!"

"You must've REALLY lost a lot of your memory, haven't you?"

"If I was even wrong about being a human, then what DO I know?!" I snapped back at Pikachu.

"Well, if you _are_ who I think you are, you're a person who's very dear to me." He started talking, sitting on the dry sand of the shoreline. "She and her Exploration Team went off a few months ago to find clues about the Pokemon God, Arceus. The rest of her team returned with wiped memories, but she was the only one who didn't come back with them."

"I... see..." There's a Pokemon _God_?

"You see... she was going to be my mate." The Pikachu stated sheepishly. "And it's been a full year since she left... and... I..."

Oh god, this Pikachu sounds like an emotional train wreck. He looks like he's gonna bawl in tiny, electric tears if something's not done.

"Look," I said, getting his attention. "I don't know who I am, or how I got here. Maybe I am a human who became a Pokemon, or maybe I _am_ your mate, but all I know is that you're the only one I can trust right now. Since I don't know this place very well, I need you to help me."

"Okay, I'll help you out, ma'am!" The Pikachu got beside me, and extended its paw in a sign of greeting. "My name's Chumar. What's your name?"

"I think... I think my name is Samus..."

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"AAAAAAAAAUGH!!"

Breathing frantically, the blonde bounty hunter, Samus Aran, took a quick look around her room. The day had just begun, with sunlight peering in through her window. Quickly, she looked at her hands. Five on each, and not yellow or furry. Her fingers went to the top of her head; no pointy ears on top, and no stupid-looking ribbon either. She even made sure she was alright, by patting her rear quickly for a sign of a tail. With no tail, she sighed a great one of relief.

"Whew... it was all a dream." Her annoyance got to her. "What the _hell_ kind of a dream was THAT?! _Why _was I a Pikachu? And why does my ship have a _crash mode_??"

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Please read and review, maybe with a suggestion or two; I'm tapped! lol


	17. Legendary

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

This one's another gem of an idea from Dark Kyotoa! Prepare to be awe-struck!

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(**Chapter 17: Legendary**)

Diddy Kong, with banana peel in hand, was waiting for the right moment for Wario to slip up. Falco wasn't going to let this opportunity of stealing a kill go by his feathery person, so he intercepted the primate and caught the banana peel in his feathers before tossing it in the fat treasure hunter's face. This didn't really phase Wario in anyway, so he decided to let his stored-up weapon of destruction rip from his rear, sending himself skyrocketing, and leaving the birdman and monkey, _literally_ breathless.

Since this was at the Pokemon Stadium (the Melee edition, that Master Hand had to beat Crazy Hand with in order to keep it), there wasn't a lot of room to run around or hide. Especially with the changing fields. So it wasn't easy for the great Solid Snake to hide, unnoticed, in his simple cardboard box. But since Diddy, Wario, and Falco were too intent on bashing each other in the skulls with giant flowers, this gave Snake the chance to blow his cover, reach for the Pokeball that had just spawned, and throw it in the midst of the others.

"Show me what you got, ball."

Out popped the tiny, pink legendary Pokemon, Mew. All four of them just stared at the pink Pokemon, hovering in place, letting out a 'Mew!' before flying away from the scene, dropping a CD onto the ground.

Falco was the first of them to break the awkward silence. "Okay... what the heck was dat?" Diddy followed up with some monkey noises, before the birdman picked up the CD. "Ah jeez... the Zorro-remix of the Star Wolf theme. Don't dat just beat all?"

"WAAHAHAHAHA!" The fat treasure hunter had walked away enough to pick up another conveniently placed Pokeball, and threw it at the others. "Now YOU eat this!"

Out popped the sprite-like, green Pokemon of time travel, Celebi. It cutely giggled in the way that it always does, grating on the nerves of the monkey, for some awkward reason. It then started flying all around, dropping one trophy after another, going faster and faster, until the entirety of the Grass field was covered in a horde of trophies the Smashers had all collected.

"Well, that's just stupid." Falco shook his head, but then harassed by Diddy, because he didn't want the birdman to take the Elite Beat Agents trophy that was there. "OKAY! GET OFF ME, YA FLEABAG!!"

After a good minute of hoarding their pockets with trophies (a record amount ever dropped by Celebi, that cheapskate), the monkey had picked up another Pokeball, got an evil glare in his eye, shrieked a frickin' monkey shriek, and threw the ball at them, this time making actual connection with the fat cheek of Wario!

"YEOW!!"

And out popped the child-like, wish legendary of steel, Jirachi. Being part-Psychic, it mentally spoke to all of them. "_Your wishes will come true!_"

"YES! I'm gonna be rich!!" Wario roared in delight.

Diddy clapped his hands excitedly, thinking of a two-story tall banana, Dixie, ice cream, and two spoons.

"I'm gonna get mah own series! That's awesome!" Falco cock-eyed the Pokemon.

"It'd be nice if Liquid would die now." Snake muttered.

"_Your wish for more stickers has come __true_!" It spun around, and started flying all over the now-appeared Water field, dropping stickers all over the place.

Snake, however, reacted quickly to this. "No. That's not flying with me." He pulled out a rocket launcher, aimed it at the happily fleeing Pokemon, and let loose a rocket upside the back of its head. The onlookers (Wario, Diddy, and wide-beaked Falco) were just in shock of seeing Snake doing something out of character, like, say, attacking a cute little Pokemon.

"_OWIES_!" It was crying, and mad. "_I'M LEAVING_! _DOOM DESIRE_!!" And with that, a bright orb of light, supposing to be the Sun's impersonator, shined hard on them, and as Jirachi disappeared, the sunlight became a large beam of Steel power, unlike Solarbeam, nuking the entire arena, sending everyone flying.

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After the Doom Desire attack pretty much toasted the stage, everyone had to evacuate, leaving the four of them to walk back to the Mansion.

"Nice, goin', Snake." Falco shook some seared plumage off of his head. "I'm gonna be bald like a cooked turkey at this rate."

"I wasn't going to let it get away with leaving some crappy stickers!" Snake reconfirmed his beliefs. "Besides, I didn't pay much attention to Mei Ling's harping about me actually using firearms on the Pokemon."

"Why would she care?" Wario pointed out. "You fired your fancy missiles at Lucario in your last match."

"Yeah, but no one cares about Lucario--"

The monkey suddenly lept up and down, pointing at the parting of the clouds. A large, shining white Pokemon, almost ten feet tall, approached the four of them. It roared aloud, breaking Peach's window for little-to-no reason.

Immediately, Snake got on his Codec.

"Otacon!" He called. "What the heck is that thing?"

"Let me see, Snake... WHOA!" Otacon, on the other end, saw the mighty Pokemon overshadowing them. "That's _Arceus_!"

"Arceus?"

"It's called the Creation Pokemon." Otacon began what Snake called 'nerding it up'. "It is said that Arceus existed long before the universe even began, and it shaped the world with its thousand arms."

"Thousand arms?" Snake looked again. "It looks like a cybernetic techno-horse."

"You have to be careful, though, Snake. It is a Pokemon of many strengths! The Pokemon equivalent of God itself! It can change its own type depending on what Plate it has, making moves that match its type even more powerful! And you have to watch out for Judgment, its ultimate attack!"

"Got it, Otacon--"

"WOW! A NEW POKEMON! I'M **SO** getting that!!"

The Pokemon Trainer appeared out of nowhere, and, for no unknown reason, with a Master Ball in hand, he threw it at the mighty deity.

"_I... am Arceus..._" The being spoke to all of their minds. "_I am the--_" And it was interrupted by getting caught in the Master Ball. It started shaking.

"YEAH!" The Trainer was excited. "Just a few more shakes, and it'll be mine!"

"Hmm... That's gonna be unfair if he uses that thing in battle." Falco commented.

However, the ball started shaking harder, harder, and more violently, until the impossible happened, in the history of the Pokemon world!

...Arceus broke out of the now-made-useless Master Ball.

"WHAT?! NO! THIS CAN'T BE!!" The Pokemon Trainer protested. "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"SHUT!! UP!!" Falco cawwed loudly.

It's eyes glowed an angry red. "_...Okay, which one of you assholes threw that at me?_" Snake, Wario, Diddy, and Falco all pointed at the Trainer, who decided to raise his own hand. The deity started glowing violently. "_I think I'll teach ALL OF YOU a lesson for trying to control the likes of ME!_ _**JUDGMENT!!**_"

A bright flash of white later...

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"Okay, let this be a lesson to you guys about trying to bring in a Pokemon NOT approved of by me." Master Hand shook itself up and down, looking at the severely injured forms of Snake, Wario, Diddy Kong, Falco, and the Pokemon Trainer. "And Arceus? Not cool... you don't get cheesecake this week."

The five of them groaned in anguish and defeat.


	18. SSB at Olympics

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

I was inspired this morning when me and my cousin were joking about this topic while we were playing Brawl. And so... to you!

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(**Chapter 18: Smash Bros. At the Olympic Games**)

Starting way back when in ancient Greece, the Olympics were competitions that only the most athletic and gifted physical specimens partook in. Many competitions and events were placed before these athletes, and they proved that not only were these sports truly the tests of the Gods themselves, but it provided ample entertainment for the masses at the times, aside from ancient plays/tragedies and the occasional spat with Sparta. And inbetween ancient times and the mid-late 19th century, nothing really happened.

Now the Olympics means SO much more. And only the chance to hock advertisements and sponsors are but a tiny, insignificant speck in the desert of tradition and time-honored glory. Many athletes, from different races, different countries, different origins, and different styles, gather every four years to cities all over the glorious Earth to do battle with each other in the field of sporting battle!

2008... the time of the Summer Olympics comes around to the great and populated city of Beijing, China. And of course it's summer Olympics, because winter Olympics are just like swords with Brawl Ganondorf: we know it's there, but not a lot of people seem to care... ... ... ANYWHO, a lot of hype has been brought up about Beijing's hosting of the Olympics, or so I think. Nintendo and Sega have combined forces, under Miyamoto's watchful eye of course, because I, as well as all cautious people out there, wonder when Sega will get rid of all the bad elements of Sonic Team... Anyways, both companies have joined together, to pit the world's of Mario and Sonic together, for the first time.

Unfortunately, their first game together was a party game in honor of the Olympics, and NOT a well-done platformer with action and good humor.

But I at Smash Skits think it's about time I put Brawl to better use, as I present to you all:

**SMASH BROS. At the Olympic Games**

"WHAT?" Zelda gawked.

That's right! Think of how fun the Olympics would be if the Smash Bros. were all invited to participate!

Representing no teams, these Brawlers of Olympiadic Fortitude will compete in humorous bouts of power, speed, grace, and appeal!

"Like a Pokemon Contest?" The Pokemon Trainer asked.

Not even close, pretty boy!

"Well, it's about time!" Mario praised.

"This is what _Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games_ **should've** been!" Sonic agreed.

"Do I have to compete in this, Colonel?" Snake spoke into his Codec.

"You should be honored, Snake." The wise voice of Roy Campbell said. "Not a lot of people get to compete in the Olympics. Take this chance before you die."

"What?!"

"Hmm?"

Prior to the events, all athletes were tested for Maxim Tomato boosts, and ensured that any rules that were broken would lead to, and I quote, 'repeated slaps to the Owie spot'. Seems like Captain Falcon, Ganondorf, Donkey Kong, and Peach covering themselves got the point across.

And now let's see what some of the events would be at this festivity!

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**Pole Vault**

And here comes Captain Falcon, with pole in hand.

"Show me your moves!" He boasted, before prepping himself. He looked up at the large hurdle he had to jump, smiled with determination, and started running. He ran as fast as his close-to-Sonic-speed legs could take him, and--

"SURPRISE, MOTHER--" Ganondorf leapt from the side of the area, unfortunately tumbling on the grass in his attempt to mess up Captain Falcon. "CURSE THE TUMBLE, SAKURAI!

And digging his pole in, he leapt up, and was almost about to fall on the bar, but he used his Raptor Boost to clear the bar, landing safely on the pad.

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!" He roared, doing a shuffle dance.

"I'll show you how it's done, Falcon." Falco pointed out. The blue bird started running as fast as he could, with his momentum forcing him to dig his pole in the designated spot, launching him beautifully into the air, like a sharp-beaked swan with a Brooklyn accent, and landing perfectly. Applause greeted him. "Yeah! I showed ya my moves! **And** I didn't even NEED to use my Up B, Falcon!" He started cheering and cawing like crazy.

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**Table Tennis**

Here we are now, it's Captain Olimar vs. Lucas at the tiny green table of battle! A small crowd turned up, watching to see how the boy from Tazmily will beat the... wait, where is the tiny, tiny man?

Oh wait, there he is, getting a foot stool to stand on. Now the two competitors were seeing eye-to-eye. Lucas smirked with cockiness, a trait he picked up from his girl Kumatora. "Ready, Mr. Olimar?"

"That's Captain, kiddo! I'm gonna drop you like an addict drops booze, mary J, and World of Warcraft!" Olimar countered with ferocity.

With Lucas picking up the ball and tossing it in the air, his was the first attack, and with Olimar countering back with unexpected ease. Then again, the ball kept bouncing along the middle of the 'court', keeping the tiny captain in perfect safety on his footstool.

"Time to be a little mean." Lucas said as he angled his return, aiming it to Olimar's furthest left.

"Oh jeez!"

Olimar lept and slapped it back at Lucas, diving off his footstool and hitting cold floor. The little traveller scampered quickly everytime he heard Lucas hit the tiny ball back, getting back on his footstool and performing another heroic dive to intercept and relay the shot back. This was going on for a good while now, Olimar countering every one of Lucas's sendbacks. Until Lucas started using his telepathy to mean uses, trying to fake out the little captain.

But just as all hope was lost, a twinkle of determination glinted in Olimar's closed lines, a.k.a. his eyes. He magically plucked three purple Pikmin from the ground. "GET 'IM, BOYS!"

Poor Lucas was jumped by portly purple Pikmin, allowing Olimar the oppurtunity to rack up a point by slamming the ball hard, breaking through a wall!

"YEAH!!" He roared in confidence, then threw off his space helmet and smashed it on the ground, proceeding that with the unruly display of unleashing his... um, _rude_ fingers. "ALL Y'ALLS CAN JUST TAKE THIS!"

"What's he getting all worked up for?" Dedede wondered. "He only scored the first point."

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**Diving**

"Okay, Squirtle! You can do this!" The Pokemon Trainer hugged his water Pokemon, encouraging it as it went up the ladder to the high-diving board. It warbled playfully to the edge of the diving board, looking down at the large pool below. "Okay!" The Trainer yelled from below. "All you gotta do is dive now, Squirtle!"

"Squirtle!" It hopped up and down on the board, before completing the last bounce, sending the Pokemon far into the air. Upon its descent, it's arms were spread out for a traditional swan dive. It hit the water, and swam back to the trainer.

"Good job, Squirtle!" The Trainer hugged his Pokemon.

Next up was Samus Aran, obviously choosing to go in her Zero Suit, instead of giving in to fanboy-ism of dressing up in a bathing suit. She bounced once on the board, leapt and fell into a traditional dive, making minimal splashes. She heard the sound of clapping as she resurfaced and swam back to the edge.

"You thought a turtle was great?" Bowser roared. "Then wait until you see ME!"

Bowser climbed up the steps of the ladder next, because it was his turn. And just as he walked to the edge of the board, it broke under his weight. He roared again in confusion as he fell, landed on the lower diving board beneath him. It launched him higher into the sky, and since he already knew he lost this, filed under '_Retarded Acts of Divinity_', he decided to go the easy way out, pulling out his Down+B butt slam.

Samus and Squirtle could only see a tidal wave heading for them.

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**Gymnastics: Floor Exercise**

Peach had just finished her gymnast routine, snagging a water bottle and drinking slowly, savoring the thirst-quenching feel of that life-giving fluid. She sat off to the side, now eying the next contestant taking the stage.

It was the fluidic grace and beauty of the lovely Zelda, in appropriate gymnast attire. Every step she took, it was as if a soft breeze accompanied her, giving her motions that added touch of dignity, as if the very air itself is commanded by the Hylian princess. With her turn done, she sat beside the glaring Peach, upset that the Hylian got a higher score than her. And then the next competitor arrived on the scene: Wolf O'Donnell??

"WHAT?!" The princesses were in surprise.

"Can't let you do that! Moonwalks!"

Wolf snapped his fingers, and he was suddenly in a white tux and fedora, completely with back-up dancers, pulling off his own display of... okay, this is just full of cocking shite! And just like watching something from Michael Jackson, he's a _thriller _in his own rights! He just ripped his shirt off, and howled!

"And it's undisputed!" Kirby was the enthralled announcer. "Wolf wins the Floor Exercise!"

"WHAT?!" The princesses were now enraged.

"Wait... was he even registered in this event?"

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**500 m Dash**

"LIKE THIS IS-A EVEN **REMOTELY** FAIR!" Mario complained as he was at the starting line, alongside Fox, Meta Knight, Captain Falcon, and Sonic the Hedgehog, all of whom are faster than the plumber in any way possible!

"If you're gonna bitch," Fox countered. "Then don't race!"

"We'll see you at the finish line!" Meta Knight added, with Sonic laughing as well.

"I bet-a you will!" Mario sourly added.

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With that sampling, **Smash Bros. At the Olympic Games** will be out... Oh... OOOHHH... Oh well...

Tune in next time!


	19. RPG Cliche 1

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

This just came to me, while reading the stereotypical RPG cliche list. Some characters are here to demonstrate just some of the many laws, provided by a site, which I don't own either: **_The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches._**

(**Chapter 19: Smash Cliche I**)

_{Sleepyhead Rule}_

"Popo! Wake up Popo!" Peach was shaking the little Eskimo boy in his bed. "POPO!!"

"WAAAAAHH!" The little boy Ice Climber woke up. He rubbed his face, still under a sleep effect. "Mommy, I was sleeping. I don't wanna be waken up at eight..."

"That's why it's not eight, it's noon!" Peach scolded, seeing the reaction on Popo's face. "Your girlfriend has been waiting for you at your usual meeting place for the last three hours or so!"

"WHAT?! Oh man, Nana's gonna kill me!"

Popo hurriedly dressed up, grabbed his hammer, left his house, met up with Nana at the meeting spot, and sure enough, smacked him hard and chided him for being such a sleepyhead!

_{"NO! My beloved peasant village!!}_

"Tra-la-la-lala! Tra-la-lala!" Luigi was skipping along a dirt path from the Smash City, usually present in certain Smash fics, and into a delightful forest. Looking around, he was slightly relieved how the trees, bushes, and clouds in the sky didn't have smiling faces on them. In fact, he breathed a GREAT big sigh of relief. "Finally! I can-a get some privacy to myself!" He reached a babbling brook, satisfied that it wasn't _literally_ babbling, and pulled out a large water bottle. He dunked it in, filling it up with lots of fresh, unadulterated forest water. He capped it, put it back into his bag, did a little crazy Caramelldansen (complete with hand motions, people), and hiked up his pack.

"Well, now it's-a time to head back."

Luigi looked up to the sound of a strange, LOUD whizzing. A great beam of light and rainbow and presumably pain was throttling at impossible speeds, making contact with the City, causing it to explode in a large, crucifix-shaped explosion, sending debris all around the now-wasted city limits, faintly hearing the screams of the still-intact.

"...**OH COME ON!!!**" Luigi fumed, throwing his water to the ground. "I wasn't even-a gone for that-a long!"

_{Thinking with the Wrong Head}_

"Are you okay?" The daring Captain Falcon inquired, reaching his hand out to the blond beauty Samus Aran. He had just defeated three guards that was threatening her, knocking them out effortlessly.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." She muttered, standing up on her feet.

"Don't worry about a thing, young lady!" The bounty hunter was determined. "No matter what happens, I won't let you fall into any danger! Those men who tried to hurt you will never bother you again!"

"How confident of you. And yet you don't even know who I am."

"It doesn't matter, miss." Flirtatiously, he winked at her.

"What if I told you that I was the Death Reaper, determined to destroy your world?" Samus said in an unyielding, serious tone, just as a dark aura surrounded her.

"..." Shrugging his shoulders, he looked at her. "Meh, life's overrated. You're still hot."

_{Cubic Zirconium Corollary}_

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Ganondorf roared aloud, having gotten Mario, Samus, Pikachu, and Link pinned under the forces of darkness. "Now that you so-called _heroes_ have been dealt with, it's time for me to enact the final phase of my plan: to trigger the **Deathmos Cannon**!"

"You-a fiend!" Mario valiantly cried out, before getting stomped on by another armored Gorias.

"Thank goodness I have Ms. Samus Aran's contribution to this project..." He psychically levitated something from Samus's pocket, bringing the object closer to him.

"NO!" She tried to break free, but a Moblin pimp-slapped her hard.

"Samus, isn't that..." Link asked in confusion, with Pikachu trying to squeeze out of the Octorok's grasp.

"That's a precious memento!" Samus let loose her seething rage. "Take your hands off it now!"

"But... it's just a small baby blanket you always carried around with you in your pocket, Samus." Link was further confused.

"Yes, we-a found you holding onto it the first-a time we-a met."

"The Chozo gave that to me! It's one of the few remnants I have of my only family!!"

"Enough!" Ganondorf commanded. He turned his back to them, heading to the control panel. "What kept you warm as an infant, will now be the key that will ignite the **universe** in searing destruction!!"

The heroes, as well as his henchmen, we're confused like feck. "...WHAT."

"You see, the material of the blanket, is a soft polymer blend, able to refract light, channelling it into a single source." He placed the soft blanket into a power conduit, running a laser through it. "It can harness heat and energy, and it can even become the ultimate power source. The source with which the Deathmos Cannon will use! And HERE'S THE KICKER: The runic language embedded on the borders of the fabric is really an encrypted code! Now that energy has passed through it, the code will become broken, giving ME total control of the unleashed energy!"

"You have-a GOT to be kidding me!" Mario raged.

"YES! YES!" Ganondorf cheered as the energy level of the cannon rose up, its target: EARTH!

The bounty hunter had a dumbstruck look on her face. "...My soft blankie's really a precursor of destruction?!" Mario, Link, and Pikachu facepalmed themselves.

_{Logan's Run Rule}_

"I'm your average hero!" Lucas called out, with Ness and Kumatora standing beside him. "I'm thirteen years old, I have a mastery over PSI powers, I'm one of the healers in this group, different from Ness because I can cast defensive spells, I use sticks and staves, and I'm an expert psychologist!"

"I'm the female lead!" Kumatora surmised, standing beside Lucas. "I break a standard rule by being older than the hero, I can deal pain with both PSI powers and my fists, and I'm a teacher, tutoring others on how to defend themselves!"

"I'm the other hero!" Ness pointed his bat to the horizon. "I'm twelve years old, I'm the other healer in the group, and I have my own **house**, because I earn a living beating the tar out of things!"

"And we got a world to save!" The three of them said at the same time!

"NOT SO FAST!" the super spy jumped out of nowhere. "I'm Solid Snake, I'm a master of stealth, espionage, tactics, killing, and I perfected the art of hiding in boxes! I'm coming with you kids!"

Ness started brushing him off. "Yeah, yeah, why don't you push off, old man? Leave saving the world to the next generation, which is us!" The two members from Tazmily laughed out loud.

"OLD? I'm only thirty-something! I'm gonna teach you whippersnappers some god-damn respect!" Realizing what he just said, Snake facepalmed himself, before showing his worth to the three kids/teens with careers!

_{Single Parent Rule}_

"Yeah, I fall into that category perfectly!" Ness pointed out. "At home, I just have my mom, my little sister, and my dog. My dad's like, I dunno on some kind of eternal business trip. On the plus side, he extorts money from his company to give to me whenever I smack some sense back into people or kill things!"

"I..." Peach thought really hard about this. "THOUGHT I had a mom and dad..." She started to cry.

"For me," Lucas began. "I'm also under that rule. But instead of my dad being away forever, it's my mom who dies, and my dad's the one who took care of me."

"All main character trainers, regardless of whether they are male or female in the Pokemon games," the Pokemon Trainer continued. "ALWAYS have a mom at least. In Ruby and Sapphire and Emerald, the dad is the Normal-Type Gym Leader. Otherwise, the dads are pretty much AWOL."

"Squirtle." Squirtle added.

"If we're gonna go into Ash from the anime, I won't be surprised if his dad was actually Giovanni!" The Trainer laughed heartily.

"I don't remember much of my mom at all," Fox said. "I'd ask my dad what she was like," He suddenly glared at Wolf. "if Star Wolf and Andross hadn't killed him!!"

"Hmph. Couldn't let you ask that, Star Fox."

"AAAUGH!!"

Peach groaned. "Oh GOD, you just said that."

00

This chapter did 340 HP of Damage to your sanity.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME!


	20. RPG Cliche 2

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it, nor do I own any characters from any other respective series. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

Continuing on from _**The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches,**_ let's have some fun! This is gonna be a doozy!

(**Chapter 20: Smash Cliche II: The Laws of Travel**)

{_First Law_}

Pikachu, Lucario, and Mewtwo, walked into the nearest convenience store, deciding to get some _'munchies'_ for their long journey.

"_So what do we need to get?_" Lucario asked, going through the aisles of the seemingly empty store.

"Pika! Chu pi pika pi!"

"_Let's not forget some X Accuracies and Ethers_." Mewtwo added.

The three were going down separate aisles, but just as Pikachu walked by the freezer, he had accidentally stepped on a raised tile. It was pushed down, making a clicking noise, startling the poor dear.

"PIKA?!?!" The yellow mouse squeaked in terror.

"_What is it NOW?_" Lucario wandered over, holding onto some Super Potions and a bag of chips.

Energy veins suddenly coursed throughout the store, causing the ground to shake.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" The shopkeeper roared. "You awoke the ancient flight mechanism!"

"PIKA?!" "_WE **WHAT**?!_"

And with that, the foundation of the store shook hard, and lifted up, floating into the sky.

"NOOOO!" Captain Falcon arrived on the scene, dropping to his knees in defeat. "I wanted to get some MUNCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEESS!!"

{_Second Law_}

"Whew! Who knew this old gal would still work?" Sonic exclaimed as he, Samus, Dedede, and Falco wandered in the cockpit of the re-energized Aircraft.

"I call front seat!" The fat penguin made his way to the cockpit, before getting knocked aside by Falco.

"Not so fast, pal! We gotta make sure this baby can fly!" Falco hacked into the computers, looking through it for information.

"So aren't _we_ lucky?" The hedgehog lounged on one of the spacious seats.

"Yes..." Samus agreed. "To think that we found **it.** The legendary craft that takes us out of the shackles of the ground..."

"AND LET'S US **PUNCH** THE FACE OF GOD!" Dedede chortled cheerfully.

The blonde looked at him strangely. "...No! Not that at all!"

"It's cool to know that this place will help keep this baby in shape if something bad happens to it!" Sonic added.

"Uh, not really, guys..." Falco beckoned the three of them over to him. "The computers on this ship indicate that even though this is the _only _ship of its kind, there are like _**23**_ other docking stations around the world!"

Blank stare, plus Samus, equals "I didn't think the people of the past were so STUPID..."

{_Third Law_}

The intrepid heroes, Link, Roy, Ike, and Donkey Kong were tearing ass and countryside in their **_Landmower Tankchopper_**! Three lanes wide, it just runs down deer and peasants!

"This ROCKS!" Roy cheered. "YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAWWW!!"

"And this is why I fight for my friends." Ike smiled, quoting himself, to himself.

But then their ride comes to a SCREEEEEECHING halt, almost hurling Link off of the ride. Thank goodness he had his seatbelt on!

Gasping for air, Link looked at the ape piloting the vehicle. "HEY! Why'd you stop?"

"Um..." The tie-wearing ape pointed up ahead at the large, mountainous region ahead of them, with only a narrow trail giving them safety. "Because, THAT'S why."

"I don't see how we can't simply ride our vehicle across!" Ike complained.

"Or let's just go around!" Link added.

Roy disagreed. "Firstly, that path looks really narrow. It looks like it'll barely have room for _us one at a time_, nevermind a WHOLE Tankchopper! And secondly, we _can't go around!_ There's ocean surrounding all sides of this island, and the boat's out!"

The four of them groaned... they'd have to get out of their vehicle and walk across the mountainous path, not knowing of the Antipode Dungeon, a labyrinth of fire and cold.

{_Fourth Law_}

Up and away in their Hocotate Super Shuttle, Olimar, Ness, Marth, and Diddy Kong are cruising the depths of the Honeybee Galaxy, looking for the fifth Quadrant of Awesomery.

"It took us a LONG while, but we finally have this ship in our control." The tiny captain breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now THIS is a sweet ride!" Ness commented.

"Yeah," Diddy agreed. "Now it'll be easier to find the Quadrants!"

"Indeed, it shall be." The prince of Altea nodded, unintentionally brushing a strand of hair to the side. He jumped an inch when blaring alarms rang along the inner contours of the ship. "What in the name of Miyamoto's grave?!"

"Oh no!" Olimar picked up ten different sources of Deathforge ships surrounding them on all sides. "We have some _bogies_!"

The Super Shuttle, not equipped with adequate, life-saving vernier thrusters, was shot at repeatedly, making small parts explode and drop onto the planet below. The ship was spiralling as fast as a screw being tightened by a driver, colliding into the ground with a loud, beautiful explosion!

Being the first one stepping out of the craft, Olimar stumbled onto the grass, not noticing Ness's PSI Lifeup doing its sweet work. He sighed. "That's the THIRD TIME that's happened..."

{_Fifth Law_}

From down below on the ground, people were in awe! The mighty airship, Cliche Divine, was pulling off many greats feats. It was reaching the heights of the Heavens, skimming the waters of the oceans, throwing itself into loop-de-loops, and it even did a few BARREL ROLLZ!!

"Who could be flying that craft so well??" The peasants asked themselves, not knowing...

...That the one who was flying this craft so well, with zero experience of flying an airship, was good ol' Jigglypuff, standing on a small crate so its stubby arms could steer the ship.

"Puff PUFF!" The Pokemon puffed its cheeks in pride.

"Okay, I get it, so I'll give you... what's your equivalent of 90,000 Bells?" Totakeke, also known as K.K. Slider, pulled out a chequebook.

{_Sixth Law_}

"This bike sucks!"

Zelda, dressed as Sheik, was peddling her legs as fast as she could, since it was a double bike with Wario in the front, and he wouldn't be aware of his own 'silent emissions'.

"If I had something else, I'd get it!"

Suddenly, to their left, a swicked, much better than a two-seated bike, purple car, driven by Waluigi, drove past them! "WWAHAHAHA!" He scoffed at the both of them, hit a pebble, got flung from his seat, and impaled a tree with his body headfirst. The car came to a stop, and Sheik and Wario ran over to him. "Eeeeeeehhh... here..." He had taken the key with him as he got flung out, dropping it in Wario's hands. "It'ssssss yours now..." And like that, he died.

(Later)

"WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Wario and Zelda were now riding in style in the swicked purple car. "Now THIS is what I'm talking about, Wario!"

The portly man only chortled in joy when he slammed his foot on the brakes, seeing a burning fire ahead of him.

The princess was concerned about the people that were possibly caught in the crossfire!

Wario however, saw the most beautiful motorcycle ever! It looked brand new, had nil scratches or dents on it, and he was certained that it would smell like a garlic-rubbed steak.

(Later)

"MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Having ditched Zelda back there to take this MUCH better motorcycle that DID smell like a garlic-rubbed steak with mashed potatoes, he was blazing a path down the trail, revving his new toy with so much delight.

He did not expect another person to rev up something behind him. Wario turned around and saw a someone riding an even MORE swicked motorcycle, with machine guns and a rocket launcher mounted on the back. But before the rider could say anything, he, vehicle and body, was sniped by a large, giant laser, lighting him on fire! He was screaming in high heaven, cursing and veering off the side. He exploded in a large fiery crucifix, taking his sweet ride with him.

"...Eh, I guess my ride's good enough."

{_Seventh Law_}

It would be a ten-hour boat ride from the joined Nintendix-Segia Continent to the Tatsunoki Continent. Mario knew he'd have to kill a LOT of time. He went around to look for his fellow party members.

He found Sonic running in small circles at the top of the ship. Mario jumped up and talked to him. "WHY are we on a ship? There's no place to run around here! I've already run around the entirety of this ship in twenty seconds! ... This boredom is going to kill me..."

He found Snake hiding underneath some stairs. Mario peeked under to see him. "Don't mind me, Mario. I'm just trying to establish a connection to Colonel and the others. This might take me a bit..."

He found Megaman looking out at the edge of the ship. Mario stood beside him. "Wow... I've never _seen_ so much water! It looks just as pretty above it than below it! Though I wish we'd get back soon. The others must be very worried about me..."

He found Tekkaman on the rear end of the ship. Mario walked over to him. "What a battle _that_ was back there! I feel so invigorated, I feel like I can go fishing with my **SPACE LANCE**!!" He extended his large weapon, and threw it in the water. "...OH IT SLIPPED!"

He found Master Chief uncharacteristically at the bow of the ship. Mario ran over to him. "...Hmm..."

He found Marcus Fenix leaning on the wall, speaking into a communicator. Mario leaned beside him. "Control, this is Marcus Fenix of Delta Squad. Control! Damn... Communications are in the **shit** right now."

Still bored, the plumber moved himself to the Captain, at the cockpit. "Don't worry about a thing. We should be there very shortly."

"WHOA!" Mario exclaimed. "That's-a the fastest ten hours-a EVER!"

{_Eighth Law_}

A plan to get past the corrupt Kingdom's brigade blockade failed with a poor distraction.

"I don't get why those guards didn't listen to me when I yelled 'Fire!'" Lucas overreacted.

"Like I was gonna _listen_ to you, kid! That was a pathetic distraction!" Bowser argued with the little Tazmily boy.

"Well, kid, if you wanted to get those guards' attention," Meta Knight stated. "You should've just let Peach get in there!"

"How would THAT have helped?!" Lucas and Bowser looked confused at Meta Knight's suggestion.

The masked warrior smiled evilly. "Peach could pretend to try and ra--" And with an angry frying pan to the face, Meta Knight falls over! "OW!"

Putting her weapon aside, she looked ahead at the guard blockade. "Well NOW how do we get across?"

Looking around, the blond boy spotted a beaten path off the side, going into the woods. They all agreed to go up that path. But little did they know that were monsters abound, traps, lasers, and a giant boss monster in that area. Exhausted and tired, they would come out the other end of that 'shortcut', knowing that they would've wasted less time just beating up the guards at the blockade.

{_Final Law_}

I'll sum this up: Heroes go through laws 1-8 to get where you need to go... but other people just like, teleport all over the place. It's real bull...

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Oh no! Viewer has fainted!

TUNE IN NEXT TIME!


	21. Handicap 9 CPU 9

Smash Skits

Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!

I was inspired by this happening when I went on a vacation to New Jersey! Enjoy!

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(**Chapter 21: Handicap 9, CPU 9**)

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On a trek of self-discovery, one can take the time to re-affirm what drives someone to do what they do. If someone feels drained from doing what they enjoy doing, losing the passion of it all, said individual could take this time to think. And once said thinking comes about, said individual can either re-acquaint themselves with their burnt out passion, or pursue something new entirely, rekindling a new kind of drive.

Enjoy that slice of advice, and gather around, as I regale this tale of delight, anger, fury, and laugh-out-loud Melee goodness... based on a true story.

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"Okay, Final Destination will be our next battleground!" Captain Falcon cheered vigorously, cocking his fist up to the ceiling in the Melee Stage Selector room. "Show me your moves!"

"Heh, I'll show _you_ some moves..." Came the cocky confidence of Roy, looking out the window. His eyes then turned to the bounty hunter's, burning with a lacklustre passion. "It'd give us **something** to do around here."

"Yeah, no kidding..." Falcon nodded in agreement, taking a seat beside the young general. "No one's been in a fighting mood for a while now, especially with news about a new _"brawl"_ or something coming out soon... and fighting simulated Smashers and the Wireframes gets boring too!!"

"Yeah..." The red-head leaned back into his seat. "...If only there was some way to spice up these computer matches!" The man beside him nodded. All of a sudden, Roy saw Captain Falcon stand up and walk over to the CPU console unit. He saw Falcon fiddling around with some of the match settings as well as CPU difficulties. He started tapping a few buttons, and Roy just perked an eyebrow up at him. "Um... Falcon, what are you doing?"

"Ya know, Roy boy, I've been doing some thinking about this... perhaps we've neglected this one option while doing the CPU matches... I mean, at first, I didn't know what purpose the Handicap option served..."

"What?" The young man looked at the bounty hunter. "Are you _kidding_?? The Handicap function sets a balance level for the inexperienced. A lower handicap means you'll be so weak that you'll be sent right off the stage at the minor percentages."

"Yeah, yeah, and high handicaps means that you'd have to take practically almost three hundred percent worth of damage before you can be sent flying..." Falcon looked at the console again, and suddenly an idea-lightbulb spawned above his head. He promptly grabbed said lightbulb and tossed it out the window, nailing Falco in the back of the head. "Roy! I got an idea! Go get Marth or Ganondorf or _someone_! I might just be onto something!!"

"Uh... okay?" And Roy got up and left the room, leaving Falcon to his own devices...

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"One more adjustment... and... YES!" With the coining of his one of many soon-to-be-famous catchphrases, Falcon cheered again, looking at the door, seeing Roy coming back in. "Glad to see ya again, Roy ol' buddy! So did you get a third for us?"

"Yeah... the only guy who seemed the least bit interested in this idea of yours was Ganon."

The King of Evil walked in and just stood there. "Yes... so, amuse me with this idea, Falcon, or else I'll soak your cereal in kerosene like I do with Link's all the time."

"Hey, man, no need for the combustion threats, Ganny!" Falcon slapped the big guy's back playfully. He headed straight over to the console. "Anywho, here's my idea: the three of us team up against a single random level 9 CPU Smasher, like a Thursday usual. Then, using Handicaps, we'll set ours to 1, and the CPU's handicap to 9. If the theory plays out properly, we'll get a nice challenge, AND a sweet new time killer. What do you say?" Both the general and the King of Evil looked at him oddly. Rather, it was Roy looking at him oddly, and Ganondorf looking like he'll beat up a squirrel, then throw the remains on the good carpet. "...C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"...Okay."

"This _better_ be worth my time, moron."

And so, Captain Falcon, Roy, and Ganondorf stepped into Final Destination after setting their handicaps and arguing for five minutes on what team color works best... Blue was the deciding victor. Almost immediately upon stepping inside the stage, they felt some kind of immediate weakness set upon the three of them. An uncomfortable feeling, like getting heart-freeze after drinking a slushie too fast, but the thought was pushed aside, especially since they saw the opponent CPU they would be owning.

Pichu.

A single, cute, oblivious little Pichu.

"MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Ganondorf roared triumphantly. "You're right, mortals! This WILL prove to be a smart investment of my time indeed!" The burly Gerudo started charing forward towards the little mouse, seeing it loose a 'CHUUU' cry. "Heh! Summoning your Thunder won't save you from my--"

The multi-hitting shock that boomed onto the little Pokemon also zapped the King of Evil repeatedly, and as if the sudden damage wasn't bad enough, as if he was bugged data, he was sent flying into the distance at a mere nine percent damage; he couldn't even usher a simple scream of defeat.

Captain Falcon and Roy could only see the look of satisfaction, and now destruction, within the CPU's eyes. And as Ganondorf came back onto the stage, for the Pichu, it only saw **FEAR** in the eyes of its prey.

"...And I set it to four stocks too..." Falcon whimpered in defeat as the Pichu charged forward...

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Glad I managed to get at least a minor chuckle from you all! Don't forget, your ideas can be brought to life too if you review and pitch them!

Tune in next time!


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